Why is it viewed negatively to renew vows after a year of marriage?
Hello,
I read in your posts that it is viewed negatively to renew your vows after a year of marriage. Is this still true if you were married abroad and most guests couldn't attend and if so why?
Thank you.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jul 23, 2008, 8:46 AM
Post #2 of 10
(542 views)
Re: Why is it viewed negatively to renew vows after a year of marriage?
[In reply to]
Elisa -
I'm confused. You have posted many questions about your wedding, but never said it was a renewal. Are you having a wedding or a renewal?
Thanks for clarifying. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Elisa
Jul 23, 2008, 10:12 AM
Post #3 of 10
(538 views)
Re: Why is it viewed negatively to renew vows after a year of marriage?
[In reply to]
Hello,
It is a reception in the states for all those guests who were invited abroad, but couldn't attend. So it is neither a wedding nor a renewal. We had decided we just want a reception, but now some relatives and friends want us to renew our vows since they couldn't be present at the wedding. So now I am thinking of other possibilities. Sorry for the confusion I think I'm confused now too.
Thank you
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jul 23, 2008, 11:10 AM
Post #4 of 10
(530 views)
Re: Why is it viewed negatively to renew vows after a year of marriage?
[In reply to]
I see. Thanks for clarifying. It's best for us to have all the information we need to give the best answers.
And, in this case, it's good we have this clarification since we usually host wedding receptions within one year of being married. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 23, 2008, 1:31 PM
Post #5 of 10
(526 views)
Re: Why is it viewed negatively to renew vows after a year of marriage?
[In reply to]
This is a very valid question. Thank you for asking.
It would still be viewed negatively because you are married and this isn't a bench mark anniversary. Plus, your guests would be considering this your wedding since they didn't see yours. So, you wouldn't be reaffirming your vows for the reason we usually reaffirm or renew. You would simply be restating them for others to hear, which isn't proper. Most find this a bit silly and staged, basically just a farce and a way to garner more wedding gifts (sorry for being so blunt). This isn't something you are about or want to be thought of from what I've gathered from your previous posts.
It would be much better to offer a slide show or video of your wedding for your guests to watch during the reception (see note below). Additionally, you could offer a toast to your guests telling them how much you are enjoying their company now and how you wished they could have been there for the wedding, but that they were there in your heart. That just might fill in that hole some might have in their hearts because they missed the real deal.
However, we are missing a very huge point here. You have been married for a year. This means that your party wouldn't be a reception, rather, it would be an anniversary party. None of the typical wedding reception elements would be appropriate. And, it is very important for you to get the word out that this is not a gift giving event, not that receptions are. But, many, if not most guests give for receptions. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
(This post was
edited by Etiquette Now on Jul 23, 2008, 10:46 PM)
Elisa
Jul 24, 2008, 6:56 AM
Post #6 of 10
(502 views)
Re: Why is it viewed negatively to renew vows after a year of marriage?
[In reply to]
Hello,
Thank you for your helpful information. This clarifies and confirms a lot of my thoughts. We will stick with our original plan and not get persuaded by family and friends (who have good intentions, but tend to confuse you after you've already made a decision).
As you have mentioned we had already thought of showing a video of our wedding. In reference to wedding reception traditions we feel funny doing them also, the only thing is we would both like to wear our wedding attire again (of course I would only wear my gown...no veil) and we thought we or moreover I could change halfway into the celebration. Some family mentioned they wanted to see my dress. Please excuse me if I have already asked this, but would that be appropriate since it has been a year?
Thank you again for all your advice.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 24, 2008, 9:51 AM
Post #7 of 10
(495 views)
Re: Why is it viewed negatively to renew vows after a year of marriage?
[In reply to]
It really is your choice, but it probably isn't the best idea since it has been more than a year. They will see you in your dress in the video. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jul 24, 2008, 10:01 AM
Post #8 of 10
(493 views)
Re: Why is it viewed negatively to renew vows after a year of marriage?
[In reply to]
I agree with Rebecca. Host an anniversary party and show your video. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Elisa
Jul 24, 2008, 10:23 AM
Post #9 of 10
(489 views)
Re: Why is it viewed negatively to renew vows after a year of marriage?
[In reply to]
Actually the party is a day before our 1st year anniversary. We will decide closer to the date of the celebration what to wear. I would like to wear it as long as I don't look stupid (LOL). Thank you both again for all your help this website is wonderful!
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Oct 3, 2008, 7:46 PM
Post #10 of 10
(157 views)
Re: Why is it viewed negatively to renew vows after a year of marriage?
[In reply to]
It's still, technically, a year later. It would look more appropriate to wear a dress fitting the occasion, and this is not a wedding and you are no longer a bride. Heck, I'd love an excuse to go shopping for a new dress! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Why is it viewed negatively to renew vows after a year of marriage?
(LOL). Thank you both again for all your help this website is wonderful!
