My situation is mostly unique, and I have read about others in the same situation who were just as confused. My husband and I elloped last summer Aug. 2, on our anniversary with two friends for the witness's. This was completly planned. We had to get married legally so we could live together (religious family) but we didn't have enough time to plan a wedding. The plan was to keep it a secret from most people and have a wedding a year later (Aug 2, 08) with 100 people or so. I was going to treat it as a renewal of vows for myself and everyone who knew, but to everyone who didn't know it was if we were getting married. Recently I have changed my mind. I felt it would be too big of a lie, and i wouldn't feel right.
SO. I need some guidance on how to go about this. Do I still wear a wedding dress, or can I just dress up in white with out the frilly dress? Do I still have bridesmaids ( I told my sister and best friend they would be my bridesmaids, and they don't know I'm married - planning on telling them now) or do I just honour them and have them assist me with the planning of the reception? When is it best to announce we are already married? at the reception or in the invitation? We had already registered do we cancell it? I know his family has been waiting to give us gifts untill the actually wedding. How do I go about holding the ceremony/renewal of vows? Do we greet everyone, explain the situation and then do the vows? or come in while everyone is seated and explain after it was just a renewal? There are lots of questions.. I just need guidance on how to go about each aspect of a traditional wedding but add our twist to it.
Sorry I am asking so much but it is hard to plan something that doesn't happen that often.
ps. His entire family (and extended) knows we are married, only my mom knows, and our two witness' (his friends).
(This post was
edited by Saraheli on Nov 24, 2007, 1:51 PM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Nov 24, 2007, 2:21 PM
Post #2 of 3
(700 views)
Re: [Saraheli] eloped - now having reception
[In reply to]
I applaud you for not wanting to lie to friends and family. A renewal of vows isn't always viewed positively such a short time after you have been married. My advice would be to host a reception where you will celebrate the wedding that has already taken place and the marriage that has already begun. This does not require bridesmaids or any attendants and you should probably plan the dances and special reception events with care because some of the traditional reception events like the first dance as husband and wife wouldn't be appropriate since you are already married. Just use common sense and you'll be fine.
It is best to host a reception within one year of the wedding. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Nov 24, 2007, 4:06 PM
Post #3 of 3
(698 views)
Re: [Saraheli] eloped - now having reception
[In reply to]
I completely agree and ask that you read through the many posts concerning those who are already married, but wanted a wedding. You are correct that this wouldn't be appropriate. And, I also agree completely that a renewal of vows is not received well by guests.
The reception is the best route.
This is not a gift giving event and neither is a vow renewal. You may leave your registry in place in case people wish to ship a wedding gift to you now that they will know you are married. But, this information may not be announced unless people ask for it. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
eloped - now having reception
