My husband and I got married secretly last October before the birth of our daughter. We didn't tell anyone except the witness to the ceremony at the courthouse and were planning our "wedding" on our one year anniversary. This remained a secret until April when the city published public marriages for 2005 in the paper and someone we knew saw and confronted us about it. We didn't deny it and told our families, but still are planning the ceremony in front of our family and friends on our one year October 7, 2006. What are the best vows for us to use since our ceremony is mostly traditional with attendants, my dad walking me down the aisle, etc.
Thanks, Shannon
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
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Re: [shannon725] vows for secret wedding
[In reply to]
Dear Wife,
A wife is not a bride, so this shouldn't be a wedding. The ceremony can be very special, but shouldn't appear to be a gift giving situation such as a wedding.
Life is full of choices. Marrying is one of them. Once you are married, you are.
This would be a vow renewal ( a non gift giving situation) and shouldn't include traditional wedding elements. Your vows should include the fact that you are married and will continue to love your husband. These of course can be entirely custom since this isn't a wedding.
Please read about vow renewal etiquette. You wouldn't believe how many emails I receive from guests to 'weddings' for married couples telling me how disgusted they are. So, plan well.