This is my second marriage and his first. We CAN'T afford a big wedding and it's gotten to the point where we are just going to elope for the ceremony (besides our witnesses of course). We both live in separate countries (he's American and I'm Canadian). We were thinking of having a dinner (not a full reception) in each location.
I've been talking to my family and everyone I've talked to thinks that we should just ask everyone who attends to pay for their own food. We will, of course, pay for our parents meals and our small wedding party's (what there is of them anyway). I was surprised that none of my family or friends care that they will be paying for it. Everyone says they understand (and they are the type of people that would just outright say it if they thought it was a bad idea. Something I very much appreciate).
My question is this...
How do I word the invite to a dinner that they would pay for? Fellow Bride
Please reconsider this idea, it is not acceptable socially or etiquette wise. I would just elope and send out announcements if you don't have the money. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
Consider having an informal potluck supper or something you prepare yourself after you come back. Having something at home where you could actually host the event would be much nicer than putting yourself into debt or asking for guests to pay for their own dinner...even if they say they won't mind. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Plus, your question was how to word the invite. How can you politely word an invite to a dinner that tells the guests to pay for it. It is like having a party and telling the guests they have to host it. The only polite solution is to have the party you can afford, which I think the Wedding Queen has given you a nice option.
You are correct in saying that a wedding is about celebrating the joining of two families and not about spending a lot of money. I think all of us believe in this whole-heartedly. This also means that we believe that we host the celebrations that we can comfortably afford. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
2nd marriage
