This will be a second marriage for both of us. I have 3 and my fiance has 2 children from a previous marriage (ages10-19). We've decided on a destination wedding for both financial reasons and less stress and fuss the second time around. Problem is we would like to make the children feel involved and not left out. It is impossible to pay for all 5 children to join us and my fiances' ex-wife would never allow the children to attend anyway. We were thinking about a family weekend away locally with all the kids. Any ideas or suggestion on how to make children feel part of a wedding when they are not joining us?
RevSusanna
Interfaith Wedding Minister
Jul 23, 2006, 4:09 PM
Post #2 of 4
(2219 views)
Re: [BevB] Getting married 2nd time w/o children
[In reply to]
First, whatever you decide, be sure you do for all five equally, otherwise there will be very hurt feelings.
Here are some ideas:
-On your weekend away, preferably, before the wedding, write them each individual notes with regard to your feelings of love towards each of them, your feelings about this new marriage, and reassuring them that your love and devotion for them, and their place in your lives, will not change. You and your partner can also write letters to your step children. This would mean a lot.
-Along with this note, you can give them each token gifts with emotional and/or spiritual meaning. These can be individually creative, or simply a medallion with an inscription for each.
-Be sure to video the ceremony for them. Then within the ceremony have your officiant include a hello and a special blessing for the children. Also, you and your partner can prepare something in advance of the ceremony, something written, and read it into the camera for them. Tell them how much you wish they were there with you, and how you are thinking of them, love them and miss them. Also for the ceremony, you can light five candles or place five flowers in a vase dedicated to them symbolizing your love and committment to them. Then have a family night and all watch the video together.
The important thing is that your children feel honored, respected and included. They need to know that you are considering their feelings, and their place in your hearts and in your lives has not changed.
This will set the tone for a harmonious joining of families.
(This post was
edited by RevSusanna on Jul 23, 2006, 4:11 PM)
BevB
Jul 23, 2006, 4:31 PM
Post #3 of 4
(2205 views)
Re: [RevSusanna] Getting married 2nd time w/o children
[In reply to]
Thank you so much for all your wonderful suggestions. I really love the idea od writing letters and going on our family weekend before hand. Fantastic! thanks again!
RevSusanna
Interfaith Wedding Minister
Jul 23, 2006, 4:45 PM
Post #4 of 4
(2202 views)
Re: [BevB] Getting married 2nd time w/o children
[In reply to]
You are most welcome, Bev!
Blessings on your upcoming marriage and the joining of your families....
Getting married 2nd time w/o children
