Is it proper to have a money tree at a wedding? Both parties have been married before, and have just about anything they need (probably not everything they want though!). I understand it is tacky to mention it on the invitation, although we are going to state 'no gifts', but is the tree idea itself a no-no? Thanks for your help!!
It is not proper to mention gifts at all on a wedding invitation, even the mention of "no gifts". Just mentioning gifts implies that you were expecting them.
Providing a money tree is considered tacky in most social circles and in some instances could cause your guest some discomfort or embarassment if they do not wish to give money, sorry.
If you receive some gifts, don't worry, you can accept them graciously and, if you aren't in need of it or don't want it, the gift can be returned or donated to charity. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Ask your mother and mother in law what they think. They will know what the local custom is. If they say that people would think it a bad idea, then it would probably be a bad idea. Fellow Bride
My mother is dead, and he is estranged from his (he had a very abusive childhood), but my former mother in law, who is a very dear friend as well, feels that whatever pleases us is OK, and she sees the sense in it. It isn't as though there is much of anything (under $1000) that we need! My children are grown and gone, and he has a young daughter who will be part of the wedding. This is the only thing about the wedding I am having a problem with...the Lord seems to be blessing everything else about it for us!
The etiquette specialists must give you the answer that is socially acceptable by etiquette standards and that is that a money tree is considered inproper. Think about it; the money tree is there, people stand in line to clip their cash on it, and they are feeling uncomfortable about the amount they're giving maybe. It's just better not to put your guests into any potentially embarrassing situations.
Spread the word through your family and close friends that you are not in need of any gifts and let them tell the rest of the guests. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
You can have fun making all sorts of other things for ytour wedding. Make the favors or the decorations. Print your own programs or invitations. These are all fun little projects (if you have the time and the talent) that will save a bit of cash withoutputting yourself at risk of embarassment; unless of course, you're not that crafty! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Yes, I am doing all of those things. We have very little money, and we have been blessed beyond measure in finding the things we think we need at prices we can afford. I am having great fun making it simple but very pretty, without having a lot of useless stuff to get rid of after the ceremony. Our church and friends have been incredibly supportive...this wedding is going to be so much fun!!
One more question...any ideas on vows I can make to his daughter (she is 9)? I plan to call her up during the ceremony and pledge to her, and if my oldest son makes it here to walk me down the aisle, I want her and him to light the unity candle.
I'm sorry. I didn't realize your mother was dead. I apologize if I stepped over the line or brought up something that was hurful in any way. Fellow Bride
Not at all a problem...I realized what you are trying to convey. It is painful, but not dramatically so, and my dear mother-in-law (former) has been a true mother to me. So God has been good in that respect!
I am so glad I found this site and was able to resolve the money tree issue. Most everything else has gone very smoothly, and once we decided to wait on God's time and not ours, everything has fallen into place wonderfully, with almost no hang-ups. I used to be a banquet bartender, and have worked many, many wedding receptions, and have seen some pretty incredible stuff, both good and bad. So a site like yours is very valuable! Thanks for all your help!
Sounds like you have this all in order. I too am biding my time, waiting for God to let us know when it's right. I have no parents or family to speak of either so I understand your plight. My fianace's mom is wonderful too and I also find that to be a blessing.
I'll bet you have some terrific stories from a bartender's point of view. Please feel free to share any of your own insight with our visitors. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Money tree
