I have always dreamed of a wonderful wedding. I don't necessarily want all the bells and whistles, what's important is me and my fiancée and having people who mean the most to us there. My fear is this; it is his second wedding, my first. He had a normal, large size wedding for his first. Complete with garter toss and lovely speeches. I am just afraid that in me wanting all that again, all the people (like his best man) will just be able to re-read their speeches from the first wedding. Everything that was said at the other wedding will just be repeated and I will be thinking the whole time "Did they say that about her?" To counter that, we could just go get married somewhere south, on a beach but that would be giving up my dream of having all my friends and family see me happily marrying the man of my dreams.
I also fear that my fiancée won’t be that “in to” the whole wedding planning because he’s already done it. I can’t pretend that he wasn’t already married, but I need our day to be just as special as if it were both our firsts.
Thanks for any help you can offer.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 7, 2005, 1:11 PM
Post #2 of 3
(1640 views)
Re: [Mikim] My first, his second, and my fears...
[In reply to]
Dear My First,
I think that you need to talk to your fiance about this. Perhaps he wants the same thing that you do. You two need to make these plans together. This is the first time the two of you are getting married together. So, this time is different for both of you. It is not a rehashing of his first.
Jill
Psychotherapist: Second Weddings & Stepfamilies
Jun 11, 2005, 10:48 AM
Post #3 of 3
(1589 views)
Re: [Mikim] My first, his second, and my fears...
[In reply to]
There are so many ways you can make your day different, and special. You describe a very traditional first wedding - and there are so many things you can do to have the day of your dreams. Talk talk and talk about the day, and you will find a way through this. For example - would you have a winter wedding - a unity candle - a reception at home - a civil ceremony and then a blessing - no need to have the traditional white cake - why not have a chocolate one or a croque en bouche? The choices are endless. Have fun. Jill Curtis Psychotherapist, Author How to Get Married ... Again (A Guide to Second Weddings) London, UK http://www.familyonwards.com
My first, his second, and my fears...
