My 26 year old daughter is planning a second wedding. Her first marriage was brief (1 year), although she had a set of twins. The first wedding was an informal event that took place in a park with a justice of the peace and was attended by immediate family members only (20-25 people) and was followed by a dinner. My daughter did not have a wedding shower.
After the marriage ended, she began a serious relationship with a wonderful guy who has never been married. They now have an 18 month old daughter and are planning a formal wedding. My 19-year-old daughter is going to be a bridesmaid and is also hosting a wedding shower (with the other bridesmaid), since the maid of honor lives in another country and cannot afford to travel here twice in one year.
Some of my family members (none of whom attended the first ceremony) have informed me that my daughter should not have a bridal shower for the following reasons:
1) She has been married before;
2) She already has a child with her fiance;
3) She lives with her fiance; and
4) She already lives on her own and has "everything" she needs.
I say that a shower would still be appropriate because:
1) She did not have a bridal shower for the first wedding;
2) This is to be a "jack and jill" shower and it is the first marriage for the groom; and
3) Besides her siblings, none of the bridal shower guests even attended the first wedding.
In her latest book of etiquette, Peggy (Emily) Post says it is appropriate for an encore bride to have a wedding shower if the guests invited did not attend a shower for her first wedding.
Although traditionally the bridal shpwer was meant to "shower the bride with gifts", it si also functioning as a pre-wedding festivity where close friends and family members can come together to honor and celebrate the new bride, her engagement and upcoming wedding. Just becuse someone has been married before, this is no reason not to celebrate a new love and a new marriage.
If your family has doubts then they can choose not to attend. Perhpas you'd like to show them this post or send them a copy of Peggy Post's book. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Second Time Shower
