This is a second wedding for both my Fiance and me. So.. naturally we are paying for it ourselves. However neither one of us had a wedding the first time around and would like to make this as much of a "regular" wedding as possible. Due to the budget we are on, (very very small), we cannot afford to cover hotel costs for out of town guests, which is all family. How do we tell them that we want them to share our day with us but they have to foot the hotel bill? We both have very small houses and it is not possible to accommodate many of them. How do we choose who we put up and who we ask to fork the hotel bill?
We also can only afford a very basic reception. Is it inappropriate for us to have "lunch" style foods like sandwiches and finger foods? And either a cash bar or no bar? (reception is 2pm to 4pm)
Also, we cannot afford a rehearsal dinner but still of course need the rehearsal. Do we inform everyone involved prior to the rehearsal that we are not feeding them and what is the polite way of telling them?
And finally, I dont have a real close relationship with my father but of course still want him there. My FH and I decided that we love the idea of my 8 year old son to "give me away". Is this acceptable? My father has asked me via email if I want him to give me away since he didnt the first time around. And he also has asked me if he and his wife and two children can stay with us because he lives out of the country and it is costly for them all to come. However, he doesn't want to contribute financially because its my second wedding even though it didnt cost him a dime the first time I married. Though he does have the money to travel, contribute and stay at a hotel. I would prefer to "house" other family members.
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Dec 1, 2005, 10:09 AM
Post #2 of 2
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Re: [stephaniebodine] Second Wedding Money Dilemas HELP!!!
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Dear Stephanie:
1. You are under no obligation to house or host out of town wedding guests. This is only the rule for your bridal party, if you are having any attendants. Who you choose to invite to stay with you is a personal decision however, keep in mind that you may be busy with your wedding planning -- too busy to be hosting guests at your home. Just keep that in mind.
2. Your reception will be at a time when guests should not expect a meal so finger foods or even cake and coffee will do fine. If you cannot afford to serve alcoholic beverages then either serve a pinch, maybe just wine and/or beer or omit the alcohol completely. Please do not ask your guests to pay for anything -- especially since most of them will be incurring travel and hotel costs and probably buying a wedding gift.
3. The rehearsal dinner is an optional event but, since you all have to eat, perhaps you could offer to have everyone back to your place for pizza and soda. This does not have to be an elaborate affair but it's nice to spend a little extra time with your close family and friends before the big day.
4. Your son would make a very respectable, and cute, escort down the aisle! I'm sure your dad will understand about your choice.
With regard to inviting your dad and his family to stay at your home -- this is really a personal decision but, again, consider the stress this might cause. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Second Wedding Money Dilemas HELP!!!
