I’m 32 years old, and have been married once before. I will be married again in March, to a different man. It will be his first marriage. I fully recognize the mistakes of my past, and have worked very hard to correct them. I also worked to determine what I expect out of a new relationship before I started dating after my divorce. Finally, I have found a man and a relationship that I never even dreamed was possible. I know that our marriage will be strong, fun, and an incredible journey.
All of his family and friends will be attending our destination wedding. His friends are also planning his bachelor party. His staff has planned an elaborate shower for him. Although I don’t expect any of these things for myself, I must admit to feeling left out. My family and friends have made it clear through their actions (or lack thereof) that this event is not supposed to be special for me in any way whatsoever. Ironically, I’m genuinely happy for the first time in my life! I know that’s not their fault, but my feelings are what they are, and my nose is decidedly out of joint. People (namely my future mother-in-law) are even asking me what shower gifts are appropriately geared towards him. As I recall, the gifts I received at my first shower were for the benefit of BOTH the bride and groom -- not a 6-pack and a subscription to Sports Illustrated. I even shopped for a dress by myself. I feel like I’m not even supposed to talk about our wedding, or show any excitement about anything.
I’m not entirely sure what my question is. I guess I’m just wondering if my feelings are valid, or if my family and friends are right -- since I’m walking down the aisle for the second time, it should be all about him. I thought that the weeks leading up to a wedding were supposed to be happy. I’m miserable. I don’t talk to my fiancé about this, because, well, I don’t know why. Maybe because I fear he’ll agree with my family and friends. Or maybe I just want him to enjoy all these luxuries without dealing with a jealous and whiny fiancée.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Feb 22, 2006, 2:41 PM)
TWQadmin
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Post #2 of 2
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Re: Second wedding for me, first for my fiancé
[In reply to]
I'm really not sure what the deal is with your friends and family but it's perfectly fine - and expected - for you to be happy and excited about your upcoming wedding.
Please discuss your feelings with your groom and your family. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Feb 23, 2006, 8:01 AM)
Second wedding for me, first for my fiancé
