Ok, I'll try to explain my situation as brief as possible. I've been in the military for 10 years and have moved around constantly. Unfortunately this lifestyle wreaks havoc on a social life because you don't really have time to establish many long-lasting friendships when you move or deploy every one to two years.
I'm engaged to a wonderful man who loves everything about me. I'm getting out of the military to start a new phase of my life with him. We grew up in the same little town and this would be his second wedding.
This is the problem: I have a really small family. My guest list at the most would be 25 people and that's being very optimistic if friends from the military are willing to spend the time and money to see my wedding. But with current events, and costs, common sense is telling me that only 7 people would be a guaranteed show. That's pretty much my family. I don't have any friends left in my hometown. Lost touch, moved someplace else... grown apart.
My fiance on the other hand would have at least 36 family and close friends. Up to 60 if he wanted to invite casual friends and more if he wanted to include co-workers.
Should I really have a wedding and reception where the majority of the guests will be his family and friends? I know it sounds selfish but I'm not even sure if I could have a maid of honor, let alone bridemaids. The only friends I could ask would have to take vacation, fly there, book hotel rooms, get the dresses, and I doubt I'm worth all that trouble and money to them.
I wouldn't have a bridal shower or a bachelorette party.
I'm just picturing a reception where I wouldn't know anyone there, the best man wouldn't know the first thing to say about me. The thought of my family and I being surrounded by people we don't even know makes me uncomfortable, and that's the last thing I want on what should be the happiest day of my life.
Unfortunately I'm serving time overseas, so I don't even have the opportunity to make new friends or meet his. We'll basically have a wedding where I will only know 7 people.
Is this ok? I've always pictured weddings with family and lots of mutual friends, which we don't have.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jul 12, 2007, 5:29 PM
Post #2 of 3
(1080 views)
Re: [lholzer] Should I even bother with a wedding or reception?
[In reply to]
This is definitely something you need to discuss with your groom. We get many, many posts (especially from military people) who decide, for whatever reason, to elope or have a civil wedding at the court house with no reception. After a while they become disappointed and regret not having that "dream" wedding and seek to have a "do-over" of sorts. This is obviously not appropriate so give this a lot of thought before moving forward. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 12, 2007, 6:06 PM
Post #3 of 3
(1079 views)
Re: [lholzer] Should I even bother with a wedding or reception?
[In reply to]
Dear Lholzer,
Your wedding would be an opportunity to meet a lot of people, some of whom may become friends of yours. You don't have to know them before the wedding. Plus, if you keep the wedding fairly small, you don't need attendants. You would just need two witnesses who could be any of the guests.
So, think it over and decide if you can feel comfortable with so few people you know in attendance.
Should I even bother with a wedding or reception?
