What do you do when your only sister is getting re-married and you are not included? My sister who is younger than me has always been extremely immature and does not always act appropriately. Her divorce was just finalized a couple of weeks ago and we are now attending her second wedding.
She did not do many things the right way when ending her first marriage. Started dating soon to be husband while still living with now ex-husband. Did not follow-up with lawyers-just thought a magic wand was going to be waved and all her troubles would disappear. When she last spoke to me - just to yell about how her lawyer was not doing right by her, I gave her my opinion which she asked for; I said she needed to get copies of all paperwork and make sure they are doing what they should or get a new lawyer. Look out for yourself was the main message. She hung up on me and has not talked to me for 2 months. Last week I get a phone message that she is getting re-married this weekend and would love for us to be there. I return the call and say we can attend. I now find out through my mother she is having a maid of honor, they are wearing gowns etc. I am very hurt, given I did not do wrong, but just tried to tell her that she needed to look out for herself with the divorce. She is not really talking to me, and I feel very slighted that she is having a maid of honor and it is a "friend" and not me.
I will attend with my family and put on a happy face for the sake of everyone, but I would like advice on how to handle this going forward.
Just to give you a clue about my sister, she was just divorced 2 weeks ago and she is getting married for the second time and is 5 1/2 months pregnant. She will know the new husband a whole year when this baby is born.
Please let me know if I am overreacting?
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Nov 21, 2007, 10:36 AM
Post #2 of 4
(890 views)
Re: [littleb] Sister's second wedding
[In reply to]
While it is expected that you'd be concerned for your sister, from the way you're writing it sounds more like you're being judgemental. Although you may not approve of your sister's behavior (and, much of what you list here would probably fall under the category of unacceptable behavior by most), she is a grown woman and, unless she specifically asks for your advice, you should probably try to just support her as much as possible and to the extent that you feel comfortable.
The maid of honor is selected by the bride and is usually someone very close to her. You and she have not been close, so, it is no surprise to me that she would select her friend. I'm guessing she's feeling the lack of support from you.
Go to the wedding and act appropriately. If you feel you need to have a heart-to-heart before or after the wedding, do so with caution and with love. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Nov 21, 2007, 1:04 PM
Post #3 of 4
(886 views)
Re: [littleb] Sister's second wedding
[In reply to]
I completely agree and it really isn't uncommon for the bride to choose a friend. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
littleb
Nov 21, 2007, 1:41 PM
Post #4 of 4
(883 views)
Re: [littleb] Sister's second wedding
[In reply to]
Thank you both for your replies. I understand that I sound judgemental, but I realize that I did not write in my earlier post that after she hung up on me 2 months ago, I immediately called her back and left her 2 phone messages apologizing to her for giving my opinion regarding the lawyers which she did ask me for. Told her that I loved and cared about her and only wanted her to look out for herself. She never responded to either message. That is the real sting here, prior to this phone call, we were very close - I was there for her in every way possible - I understand that pregnancy hormones are involved, but she really did hurt me by never speaking to me again.
I will go to the wedding and not spoil her day for her, because she is my sister and I would not want to hurt her.
Sister's second wedding
