My friend has asked me to research this because she does not have internet access. Any help would be most appreciated. My friend is 48 years old. Her husband passed away of cancer about 5 years ago. She receives social security benefits as his widow. She has now met someone new and they want to get married. However, they cannot afford to lose her social security benefits. They want to do the right thing and get married, not just live together. I remember recently reading, and possibly hearing on the news, about people going to Mexico to get married because the religious ceremony is not recognized as legal in the United States, therefore they continue to receive their social security benefits as if they were still widowed, but they are married in the eyes of God. Everything I find talks about what you need for a civil ceremony and that it is legal and recognized. Does anyone have any information regarding this?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jul 22, 2005, 3:46 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 22, 2005, 6:42 PM
Post #2 of 6
(1536 views)
Re: [sewitup] Social Security and Second Marriage
[In reply to]
Dear Trying to Help a Friend,
If they don't want their marriage to be recognized by the law, then do they really want to 'do the right thing'? If they live together then they are not viewed positively by their church. But, if they marry in the eyes of the church and deceive the government... is this a positive?
But, this is just my opinion. Perhaps someone else can lead you to another door.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Social Security and Second Marriage
[In reply to]
If I wanted a so-called "etiquette expert's" opinion, I would have asked for it. I don't want opinions, I want to hear from someone who actually knows what they are talking about. Thank you very much. Can you tell I'm not real happy by your smart aleck answer? Good!
BTW, only God knows what is in their hearts. They are both very strong Christions and do not currently live together. Who cares what other people think? The people who truly matter - family, preacher, close friends - would know the truth.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jul 27, 2005, 4:00 PM
Post #4 of 6
(1490 views)
Re: [sewitup] Social Security and Second Marriage
[In reply to]
I suggest your "friends" go to see their priest or minister for advice.
The fact remains that, in this country, you cannot, by law, remarry and continue to be taken care of by the government.
I consider myself an expert in this area, not because I am a person of the cloth, but because I am a Christian woman, a widowed mother of 16 years, who is currently deciding to remarry. I understand that to continue to receive social security would be against my faith as well as against the law, no matter where we marry and no matter what is in my heart. If I am going to be true to my faith then I need to make a choice, money or marriage.
If I were to try to slide in under the law, I don't see that my God will look lovingly on this. The faith part is my opinion, but the law portion is the law, so maybe the expert your friends need to consult with is actually an attorney.
I think Rebecca hit the nail right on the head! Bravo!
Let's see what our Religion experts think. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Aug 1, 2005, 7:08 PM)
annemjuhlian
CELEBRANT & OFFICIANT
Jul 27, 2005, 4:28 PM
Post #5 of 6
(1479 views)
Re: [sewitup] Social Security and Second Marriage
[In reply to]
As a Wedding Offiicant and Minister, I feel compelled to suggest that legal counsel is needed on this issue. There are serious legal considerations here and before making any choices or decisions, it may be best to get professional advice on what's legal, what's not - what's best. Annemarie Juhlian, Wedding Officiant & Minister
Pastor Buddy
RELIGION EXPERT
Jul 27, 2005, 4:49 PM
Post #6 of 6
(1477 views)
Re: [sewitup] Social Security and Second Marriage
[In reply to]
This is difficult to answer because of the multi-faceted aspects: legal, spiritual and social. I am not qualified to respond to the legal; except to say, "Render unto Caesar what is Caesars..."
I am a little confused by your statement, "..therefore they continue to receive their social security benefits as if they were still widowed..." Do both of them receive survivor checks?
Faith is subjective in that we exhibit varying degrees of faith. In this case, the highest faith response would be: God has blessed you with someone else so you won't be alone. If God begins a work, He will finish it. The faithful response is to trust God for your needs and not the government. It is not easy to do the faithful thing, particularly when it involves drastic change and the dismissal of something we are dependent upon (SS Income). As a minister, I am obligated by my state to follow their rules. I am also obligated to follow God's purpose in marriage. I try to be faithful in all, but fail too often. I do keep trying to be faithful though. I am convinced if God has brought you someone, He will supply your needs without the SS income. Perhaps the best place to start is on your knees and praying for God's will. The next place is your local minister. I'm sure God would not object to your consulting an attorney. You are in my prayers as well.
Social Security and Second Marriage
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Social Security and Second Marriage
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