I was married for 8 loving years when i lost my husband to a tragic accident 5 years ago. Presently been in a great relationship, going on 2 years now and planning our wedding for the fall 2006. I'm super close to my inlaws. Even more so than my own parents. How do i include my inlaws of the past,my own parents and my future inlaws comfortably, without having to drink a bottle of champagne to calm myself before the wedding march starts....???
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Dec 7, 2005, 4:27 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Dec 7, 2005, 4:59 PM
Post #2 of 3
(1304 views)
Re: [bubbles] The inlaws at my second wedding
[In reply to]
Dear Bubbles,
It would probably be best to talk to them about how you feel and that you want them to always be in your life. But, to honor them at your wedding may not be the best thing to do. This event is a beginning of a new life. They are a part of your previous marriage. It may be very awkward for all of you. Plus, it may be a bit painful for them remembering you and their son.
So, you could treat them as honored guests and seat them in the third row. If they have just experienced a milestone anniversary, you could have this mentioned during the reception. But, other than that, it would probably be best to treat them as guests--special, but guests.
yvonne"instep"
Social Worker, Stepmother, Certified Stepfamily Counsellor
Dec 9, 2005, 12:01 PM
Post #3 of 3
(1283 views)
Re: [bubbles] The inlaws at my second wedding
[In reply to]
I agree with having them there and giving them the status of special guests and leaving it at that. My guess is they may not want any more attention drawn to them then that anyway. My husband and I had a similar situation when we were married. He had been married for 13 years to his wife who had been then killed in a tragic accident. He remained very close to his in-laws, for his daughters' sake but also because he felt very much a part of their family. We didn't include them at our wedding only because it was too painful for them because of the memories, but we have remained in constant contact with them and close to them ever since. And throughout the years they became close acquaintances with my parents as well.
They already have a close connection with your parents no doubt so that shouldn't be too hard. Your husband's parents may be the most uncomfortable but I believe just talking with everyone beforehand will help them to understand how important it is for you that they are all there. The important thing is that both you and your new partner are comfortable with it and that you are on the same page about this. Everyone will realize you are doing this because of the close connection you have with your former in-laws and if you've spoken with everyone ahead of time, my guess is they will all make the effort to make this as comfortable as possible and a special day for both of you.
You are making the effort to inform everyone and include everyone so you are doing the right things. Just relax, enjoy yourself and look forward to this new beginning that you deserve so much. Yvonne Kelly, MSW, RSW, Certified Stepfamily Counsellor and Coach, Co-Founder and Director of the Step and Blended Family Institute http://www.stepinstitute.ca
(This post was
edited by yvonne"instep" on Dec 9, 2005, 12:05 PM)
The inlaws at my second wedding
