I was married before and my husband passed away with cancer two years ago. The man that I am engaged to, this would be his first marriage. We have known each other since we were teenagers. I have a step-daughter that is married and she likes him. But, how do I tell my mother-in-law. Also, we are not planning the wedding for another 2 years, maybe. But, if I marry him I will lose my insurance and my state and federal retirement checks from my late husband. Should I do it and marry him or just do it in the eyes of the lord? I just don't know.
It sounds as if you're not totally sure about getting married yet. But, rather than let your ex-mother-in-law find out through the grapevine that you're engaged, or thinking about getting remarried, let her know in a way that reflects your relationship with her. If you're very close, maybe take her to dinner and explain your feelings. Just know that this is going to be very difficult for her to hear. Even if she totally gets that you haven't stopped loving her son and that you're just moving on with another phase in your life (or, maybe that you just need to have company) those ideas are often difficult for the family of the deceased to grasp. But, you do have to consider your own happiness first.
Regarding your financial issue, that is just not something anyone can advise you about. But, since you mention the Lord, I don't know of any way to marry in his eyes outside of the church, while not in the eyes of the law. Essentially, that would be lying (IMO). So, consider all of the implications and go with your heart. My opinion, date for a very long time and enjoy life as a single lady for a while - insurance and paychecks in hand. Independence can be a valuable asset. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Excellent advice from the administrator! Until you're absolutely sure, don't get married and just enjoy being single.
Save as much money as you can and get some sound financial advice. Many lawyers give free consultations. Talk to a representative from your late husband's place of business/employer to find out all the details of his retirement account.
And finally, if your heart tells you to love the man in your life unconditionally, then marry him and put your lives in God's hands. He loves you both with an amazing love and He has many creative ways of paying the bills!
Widow and his first marriage
Independence can be a valuable asset. 
