I recently became engaged to a man who was previously married. I would like to begin plans for my wedding however he is still legally married and currently obtaining a divorce. Is it appropriate for me to be planning a wedding at this time and even more important is it appropriate to be "engaged" to someone who is not legally available. Please help with my sticky situation. He thinks this is acceptable I'm not so sure and wonder what the rules of etiquette are in this situation. I would rather obey the rules of etiquette and call off the engagement until it is proper rather than continue to plan for a wedding. Sincerely
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on May 10, 2005, 3:47 PM)
TWQadmin
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May 10, 2005, 3:47 PM
Post #2 of 6
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Re: [vcordts] engagement and second wedding planning
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You're right to be concerned. It isn't proper for the two of you to be oficially enagaged until he is legally divorced. How could you possibly plan a wedding day if you are unsure about when the divorce will be final? If you plan and something happens with his paperwork and his divorce is not final by the date you have planned then you'll be on the hook for all sorts of deposits. You will not be able to be legally married by a justice of the peace nor by any clergy either so why risk this? Wait...if the relationship is solid, time will not be a problem. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
vcordts
May 10, 2005, 4:48 PM
Post #3 of 6
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Re: [TWQadmin] engagement and second wedding planning
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Thanks so much for the input. I have absolutely no problem putting off this engagement until all is in order. He may not be happy but at least I have etiquette on my side.
TWQadmin
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May 10, 2005, 5:01 PM
Post #4 of 6
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Re: [vcordts] engagement and second wedding planning
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I was actually in the same boat so I could suggest reminding him of the financial ramifications. Guys don't seem overly concerned with etiquette but when faced with a possible loss of funds they usually come to attention! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Songgrl25
May 17, 2005, 3:23 PM
Post #5 of 6
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Re: [vcordts] engagement and second wedding planning
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I'm in agreement. My first marriage was brief. Although I was in a battered woman's shelter for quite some time, I had divorce proceedings going on for several years because he was a Navy Seal. Anyway, I had met my next husband and after two years he proposed - 6 months before my court date. My ex tried to sue me for adultry and alimony because he found out I was engaged. I called off the engagement and the judge was on my side, which was hard to believe in the first place. Stay strong in your love and know that it will all work out.
TWQadmin
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May 17, 2005, 7:52 PM
Post #6 of 6
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Re: [Songgrl25] engagement and second wedding planning
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No, even if you are legally separated you should check with your state and your agreement since there could be provisions agains cohabitating or being engaged.
Adultery is defined as carnal connection between a married person and one unmarried, or between a married person and the spouse of another.
Being engaged doesn't necessarily mean that you're in a physically intimate relationship. Some people DO wait for marriage; even these days. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
getting engaged before the divorce is final
