Here is the background. I was married for 42 years. My wife died about 9 months ago, after a 6 year illness. Through a friend was reaquainted with a lady I have known for 50 years. She has been divorced for 20+ years. We fell in love. We are being married in April. planning on a church wedding with a small reception after. We also want to have a select group (my son, my daughter and grandkids, and her daughters and grandkids, her brother and his children and several dear friends to a dinner after the reception. So far, so good.
I have no brothers or sisters, but my ex-wifes family all live near to the wedding. Gramdma and Grandpa, a sister in law and their children and grandchildren, a brother in law and their children and grandchildren.
They have not been elated about the suddenness of all of this, but most of them have finally accepted it, after a lot of being upset, which I understand. We are inviting them to the wedding and the reception. BUT, what about the smaller gathering after? These are my daughter and sons aunts and uncles and cousins, but they also bring my late wife and my other life into the time of our wedding...
Help...
John
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Feb 28, 2005, 8:19 AM
Post #2 of 2
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Re: [jhuenink] inviting in-laws to second wedding
[In reply to]
If you haven't already invited these people then you may want to reconsider. I am widowed myself and personally I wouldn't invite my deceased husband's family to my wedding since, as you say, it would bring my former life into the new life I am trying to create, but might also cause already hurt feelings to become even more hurt. I think this is a personal decision only you can make since you know the personalities and relationships of all involved. If you feel you must invite them to the wedding and reception then certainly, if you are having a small gathering after the reception, these people do not have to be included.
For your inlaws it has only been 9 months since your wife died but, for the spouse who was there taking care every day, it can sometimes feel longer since you probably began the greiving process long before the actual death. It's great that you are being sensitive to their feelings. Hopefully, they too vcan be senitive and understanding about yours. If possible, try to let them know that your new marriage does not mean that you never loved your deceased wife but that you have to go on to make yourself a new life now. Whatever parties or events you have surrounding your children though, the inlaws should be included in those events.
inviting in-laws to second wedding
