One of my best friend's daughter had a lovely wedding about 4 yrs ago. A beautiful, "formal" engagement party was given to which everyone brought almost everything the couple had registered for; next there were 5 showers (I was invited and attended two); then the extravagant wedding and elaborate 400 person catered wedding reception. The marriage lasted 1 1/2 years. I was asked 6 months ago to hold a date in April open for her second wedding (her husband to be has not been married before). This wedding is considerably smaller, about 100 people at a country club. Today I received a shower invitation for the bride to be given by two girls who gave her a shower the last time around. After an engagement party , 5 showers and wedding gifts just 4 years ago - there was absolutely nothing left on any registry they had not received. Now we have a new registry for china, silverware, glasses, linens, etc. listed on the second wedding shower invitation. I really can't believe another shower is appropriate. Maybe I'm just old fashioned since I've been married 30 years. I'm completely flabbergasted by the whole "It's All About Me" mentality. Am I the one who's off center here? Thanks.
"In Search of Perspective."
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Mar 1, 2005, 2:45 AM
Post #2 of 2
(1978 views)
Re: [robsnest] showers 2nd time around?
[In reply to]
In Emily Post's newest book on etiquette she states that since encore brides and grooms often aquire new friends it is acceptable to host a shower for a second time bride as long as the guests are mostly people who were not invited to the first shower. (This would be the case with your bride's future inlaws). Any guests who attended a shower for this bride before are not expected to bring a gift.
That being said, you could choose not to attend or choose to attend without a gift but remember that these people obviously didn't read "the book" so if you do attend you may feel embarassed without a gift. Shower gifts need not be expensive.
Just for your information, engagement parties are not a gift giving event.
My personal opinion is that each situation needs to be looked at individually.Encore brides come in all sorts of shapes and sizes; some have been widowed, some have been divorced a long time, some may have realized shortly after the marriage that the spouse was unfaithful. Do any of these scenarios warrant NOT celebrating a new love with friends and family? Many times the family wants to have these parties becuse they are excited and happy about the upcoming event. Your situation may not fit into the above and may look to you like a gift grab, if thats the case you you can choose to "be busy" that day. If you care for these people, go to these events and help them celebrate their new found love.
Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Apr 23, 2007, 4:07 PM)
showers 2nd time around?
." 
