My husband and I are great friends with the bride and groom (who are already married by the state but having a huge wedding ceremony & reception soon. He was asked to be the best man and I was not asked to stand up. As they are already married instead of having a bachelor party I threw them a couples shower for 40 people and took care of everything. One point during the night the bride said she wished she had asked me to stand up. One of her bridesmaides is a girl my husband on and off dated for several years. She is unmarried and has made things uncomfortable for me on several occasions. At the shower I was very kind to her. I am still not looking forward to dealing with anything at the wedding.
The bride informed me that the wedding party including my husband will ride with the couple in the limo from the ceremony to the reception so they could celebrate a little. At first I said, Oh, ok, and I think she could tell that was a little upsetting. She acknowledged that the situation might be difficult because of the other bridesmaid and possibly other things.
I told my husband about the limo, he said that was ridiculous and he wanted to drive me to the reception. The wedding is in a different town, I would be bad at this, and I really feel already stupid going to this whole thing by myself. He told the groom he didn't want to ride in the limo, and why, and now the groom is making him feel guilty and pressuring him to ride with them. My husband still says he is driving me but now I am starting to feel like I am interfering with everything and causing a comotion.
I can't believe my friend can't understand this. I already feel so sad about lots of things, I am not in it, that I have to attend the ceremony, dinner and all other things on my own, that that other girl is hanging around, and now that they are giving him a hard time for wanting to drive me to the reception. Should he drive me there or just go in the limo. Should I say anything about how I am feeling? Thank you!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jul 8, 2005, 8:13 AM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jul 8, 2005, 8:21 AM
Post #2 of 4
(3756 views)
Re: [upsetguest] Who rides in the limo to the wedding?
[In reply to]
I think you have to speak to your husband and let him know how you feel about this other woman. Your husband obviously loves you so trust that he will do the right thing. You can meet up with him at the reception and have dances with him during the evening. I understand that you're feeling a bit insecure and maybe a little left out but try to focus on your friends. Make this day about the couple and their wedding. This is a great opportunity for your relationship with your husband to grow as well as possibly meeting some new friends. Every issue you deal with in life is a learning experience. If you approach this event in this manner you'll be fine.
Now, go out and buy yourself a "knock-em-out" dress and be the prettiest (second to the bride and her mom, of course!) woman at the reception! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
expertplanner
BRIDAL CONSULTANT
Jul 8, 2005, 8:40 AM
Post #3 of 4
(3751 views)
Re: [upsetguest] Who rides in the limo to the wedding?
[In reply to]
Dear Upsetguest:
You definately need to speak with your husband about how you are feeling. It sounds like he is understanding and will work with you through what is obviously a difficult situation for you.
I know you are disappointed about not being included in the wedding and related activities but do try to keep the focus on your friends. They might think you are a super strong woman and having this other person around won't even phase you.
As for the limo, usually it is only the wedding party that rides in it and the spouses, or significant others, of the party uses an alternative means to get to the ceremony and reception site.
Enjoy yourself. Don't let this escalate to a level where you begin dreading the whole ordeal. It isn't worth you being unhappy. Rhonda Allen, Bridal Consultant New Beginnings Weddings
Jill
Psychotherapist: Second Weddings & Stepfamilies
Jul 8, 2005, 9:37 AM
Post #4 of 4
(3749 views)
Re: [upsetguest] Who rides in the limo to the wedding?
[In reply to]
I think you have been great about everything so far. Let your husband know you are a bit upset -although from what you say you dont reallyhave anything to worry about. Your husband seems to be sensitive to the limo problem and if he wants to drive you - so be it. Otherwise is there another close friend who could give you a lift to the reception? Jill Curtis Psychotherapist, Author How to Get Married ... Again (A Guide to Second Weddings) London, UK http://www.familyonwards.com
Who rides in the limo to the wedding?
