I am the bride, and I have found several nice, reasonably priced (tea length) bridesmaid dresses that my bridesmaids and I agree on, however, my future husband doesn't like them! I'm not really sure what to do;. He was really upset with me when I purchased my wedding gown without his input, and I feel pretty strongly that the wedding gown and bridesmaid dresses are my domain. However, I also don't want to continue to argue about this. He has shown me pictures of several floor-length bridesmaid dresses that he would like and I really dislike all of them (I don't feel that they would look good on everyone or photograph well).
Is there an etiquette book out there or something that I can show him to prove this is my decision and to back off? My wedding is in a little under 5 months, and his "input" is stressing me out since many of the dresses will take 3 1/2 to 4 months to get in once they are ordered. Help!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 30, 2009, 1:46 PM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
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Post #2 of 4
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Re: Groom wants to pick out bridesmaid dresses!
[In reply to]
Tell him he gets to select the dress as long as he will wear it.
Actually, the tradition is that the groom doesn't see the bride's dress before the wedding. Tell him it's bad luck.
But, you will want him to be wowed by you in your gown. Perhaps seeing you in the gown the day of the wedding, with all the accessories, will change his mind. Don;t show him any more dresses. Just tell him he will have to wait until the wedding to see it all done. Of course, you would have to stay out of his selections as well. None of this makes for good coordination. Sigh.
There isn't really anything in an etiquette book (that I'm aware of) about who gets to select the attire. I think that's probably because most guys don't care about such things so it's never been an issue.
Unfortunately, I don't really have any advice for handling your groom. maybe one of the other experts can step in here. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #3 of 4
(1150 views)
Re: Groom wants to pick out bridesmaid dresses!
[In reply to]
I agree that it really isn't stated in those exact words, "The bride chooses her attendant's attire without input from her groom." But, there is reference to the bride choosing her attendant's attire on page 353 of Letitia Baldrige's New Manners for New Times. You could mention it and maybe he won't ask to see it. But, she does state that it is the bride's responsibility to select dresses for her attendants... . Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Nancy Tucker
PRESIDENT - WEDDINGS BEAUTIFUL
Post #4 of 4
(1146 views)
Re: Groom wants to pick out bridesmaid dresses!
[In reply to]
I agree, traditionally and according to etiquette: the bride along with the assistance of her maid/matron of honor select the attire for the bridesmaids. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com and http://www.coordinatorscorner.com
Groom wants to pick out bridesmaid dresses!
