My daughter is getting married in July. She wants to ask her brother to be a groomsman. He wants her to ask his finance, who will, by then be his wife, to be in the wedding, too. She doesn't mind, but already does have a lot of bridesmaids (7), which was why she wasn't going to.
She discussed it with me and the concern was on several levels, the expense for him, travel, tux, and dress.
Plus the questions arises, what is the logistics of his wife being a bridesmaid from another state? How would she get fitted for the dress? Would she have to travel prior to the wedding for fittings or could she handle it all from another state?
Family expectations often become an unwanted decision for a bride. Her brother may not have considered the additional expense of including his wife. Also her being out of town, can be worked out with fittings (could be altered locally) etc., but would also limit her ability to attend and be a part of many of the planning duties of a bridesmaid.
You and your son and daughter should have a talk and explain your concerns as soon as possible. Many times we allow an issue to dominate when just talking it out could have avoided the stress. Communicate! Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
Thank you. Not having been through this before, I never even thought of the bridesmaid's duties. To be honest, I'm not even certain what they are; my daughter may be in the same boat.
It might be helpful if you got yourself a copy of Emily Post's newest book, Etiquette. It's a great reference - not just for weddings but for life! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Logistics question
