I asked 8 girls to be bridesmaids in my wedding so I knew finding a dress that everyone liked was going to be very difficult. When I asked one of my friends to be a bridesmaid I asked if she had to wear her garments (she is Mormon and getting remarried in the Temple). She said that she would not wear them for the wedding. I finally find a dress that everyone likes and am really excited. My mormon bridesmaid says she loves the dress but now has to wear her garments for the wedding. She said she could not wear them in the pictures but her husband was in the background saying that she had to (along with the dress was ugly). I am not sure what to do. I really want all my bridesmaids to match. I have been trying really hard to make all my bridesmaids happy and allow them to wear something they like. My other bridesmaids are very upset because they do not want to be forced to buy and wear a dress that they do not like because of one person. Please Help!
I can't really see an in between here. She told you that she would wear the dress and then changed her mind. So, it seems that either you allow her to wear her own dress, insist that all of your bridesmaids wear something similar to her, or ask her to step down. It would be fairer to the other bridesmaids to ask her to step down or to wear the chosen dress though.
I agree with Rebecca. If your friend needs to wear special clothing, and this was not part of your original plan, talk to her about it. Perhaps you could suggest that she be a hostess and hand out programs and such. This way, she would be involved in the wedding, but she won't have to wear the same dress as the other ladies. Hopefully she will understand your choice since the dresses have already been purchased based on your original conversation. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Does it still apply if the dresses have not been purchased yet? One of my bridesmaids found it and I asked all the rest if they liked it. It was the only one so far that they all have agreed on. I would let my mormon friend try to find a dress but her style is not very compatible with the other bridesmaids so I think this would only give her the hope that she would be successful and then I would have to tell her no one liked her choice.
I think what you have here is more a moral dilemma than etiquette. But, if it were me, and I had 9 women I needed to get to agree on one dress, and 7 of them did, I'd count my blessings and hope my Mormon friend understands. After all, she did tell you she could wear a dress of your choosing but then found later she really couldn't. zperhaps if you knew this in advance, you may not have invited her to be a member of the bridal party. I would hope that a good friend would understand, but it's really your decision. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Mormon Bridesmaid
