Reimbursement for bridesmaid dresses on wedding that's still on?
My friend asked me to be in her wedding. Of course I accepted, and I bought the dress & matching shoes. She since decided to cut down on her wedding costs and has told me I’m not in the wedding, but I’m still invited at attend. (She’s now only having a MOH & Best Man.) Needless to say, there is almost $200 in wedding apparel that I will never wear in my closet and it is not returnable. I feel that she should reimburse me for the money I spent to be in her wedding. Am I out of line?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Dec 11, 2006, 7:12 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Dec 12, 2006, 10:31 AM
Post #2 of 9
(1426 views)
Re: [notabridesmaid] Reimbursement for bridesmaid dresses on wedding that's still on?
[In reply to]
Dear Not a Bridesmaid,
Not paying you for the dress and shoes isn't any different than if you had been in the wedding. The expense would be the same if not more. But, it would be a nice gesture if she would do something special for you as if you were still a bridesmaid. It isn't obligatory, just nice.
Re: [notabridesmaid] Reimbursement for bridesmaid dresses on wedding that's still on?
[In reply to]
Post the dress and shoes for sale at ebay. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
notabridesmaid
Jan 6, 2007, 1:32 PM
Post #4 of 9
(1280 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] Reimbursement for bridesmaid dresses on wedding that's still on?
[In reply to]
Thanks for the suggestion, but I've been selling on eBay for 8 years. If I could get any where near the price I paid for it, that would be one thing. Unfortunately, formal dresses on eBay don't get the price they deserve. This particular dress would only fetch about $15.00. (I checked.)
notabridesmaid
Jan 6, 2007, 1:39 PM
Post #5 of 9
(1278 views)
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Reimbursement for bridesmaid dresses on wedding that's still on?
[In reply to]
I tried to keep my original post short and sweet and tried not to sound bitter. However, now that I have read your advice, I feel I need to elaborate. When the bride realized she couldn't afford the wedding, she ran to both sets of parents for help. They graciously gave the bride $8500.00 to pay for THE WEDDING. This money would completely pay for the wedding and reception so everything should have been fine. But, now that she had all this money, she decided they should cut down the wedding and make it much smaller (by eliminating the bridal party & the church ceremony and just having a small ceremony at the reception hall.) With the money the parents gave her for the wedding, she is now going to ITALY with it instead! So, to recap, the wedding is still on, but on a much smaller scale, so that she can go on vacation with the wedding money from the parents instead. So I'm upset, because not only am I not IN the wedding, but I'm invited to attend AND I'm expected to bring a gift, while the bride and groom essentially use my hard earned cash to globe trot around Europe. Clearly I am upset and I feel taken advantage of. I would NEVER ask someone to take money out of their pocket to better my financial situation and that's exactly what I feel has happened. Do you still feel that I should not be reimbursed?
(This post was
edited by notabridesmaid on Jan 6, 2007, 1:41 PM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jan 6, 2007, 1:46 PM
Post #6 of 9
(1272 views)
Re: [notabridesmaid] Reimbursement for bridesmaid dresses on wedding that's still on?
[In reply to]
Of course, the moral thing for her to do is to reimburse you for your expense but there is no etiquette I could find to back that up.
I think you are complaining to the wrong party here. If you care about this friend then talk to her. Perhaps she'll offer to reimburse you. If you're feeling like you want to end the friendship then cut your losses and decline to be a guest at the wedding. Leave all the anger behind.
If you decide to attend as a guest, you are obligated to bring a gift, but, the gift could be nominal or even something you've made. Spend only what you can afford. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 6, 2007, 1:48 PM)
notabridesmaid
Jan 6, 2007, 9:44 PM
Post #7 of 9
(1260 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] Reimbursement for bridesmaid dresses on wedding that's still on?
[In reply to]
Thank you very much for the reply. I have emailed my friend with a request for a refund, but to no avail. She will not respond to my email. It seems that she has ended the friendship. It's very unfortunate since I care for her so much. But apparently those feelings are one sided. Thanks again for your time.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jan 6, 2007, 10:27 PM
Post #8 of 9
(1257 views)
Re: [notabridesmaid] Reimbursement for bridesmaid dresses on wedding that's still on?
[In reply to]
Please don't leave such sensitive and important matters to email. You cannot know for sure that she even received your mail. If you cannot speak to your friend face to face then call her. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 7, 2007, 2:49 PM
Post #9 of 9
(1245 views)
Re: [notabridesmaid] Reimbursement for bridesmaid dresses on wedding that's still on?
[In reply to]
I completely agree. This should be discussed face to face. Plus, if you decide not to attend the wedding, you are not obligated to give a gift. A card would be fine. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Reimbursement for bridesmaid dresses on wedding that's still on?
