I'm getting married in October, and 2 months ago, I was informed that the bridesmaids' dresses I had picked out for my 6 Bridesmaids were being discontinued at the end of April. I was told if they were paid for by then that I could still have them. I REALLY want this dress and I told my bridesmaids that they needed to pay for them by the end of April as soon as I found out they were being discontinued. I thought 2 months was plenty of time. The store just called me and with a week and a half until deadline, no one has even gone up there. I have been calling them almost everyday and now none of them will even answer the phone. I want to rid myself of all of them and pick new girls. I have been engaged since last August and told them to pick their own dresses at that time. No one did, which is why I picked the dress I did. I have the LAZIEST bridesmaids EVER! Can anyone give me any advice?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 12, 2005, 5:04 PM)
Take a deep breath and let's see if we can get them on the stick right now! When you call them, you should leave a message with the urgency of their cooperation immediately or another dress will have to be chosen. If they are not willing to work with you and won't discuss the problem they have with ordering it, you will have to consider an alternative dress style. Your choice of your bridesmaids should have been made because they mean something to you. Try to work with them to get them in accord with you and salvage your relationship with them. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 12, 2005, 5:04 PM)
I just can't believe they are being like this. I could understand 1 or 2 but all 6???? I gave them every oppurtunity to pick their own dresses and now we're down to the wire and they still haven't lifted a finger to help me even go shopping. I haven't seen some of them since I got engaged and some in a few months. This is supposed to be fun, this day is supposed to be about me not them and so far i have catered to them and no one has even said thank you or do you need any help. This is disrespectful in my opinion.
Looks like you're getting a chance to see what's more important to you: your friendship (is there any?) with these women or the dresses they wear.
You may want to reassess who you've chosen and why. I'd recommend inviting them all to a gathering of some sort (tea, coffee, lunch, ...). See who shows up. Have a heart to heart with those who come and check in about their honest feelings about being involved and what's kept them from taking initiative.
My sense is that there's always more to the story and you may want to look at your behavior and role in this and how you might approach them differently.
If you're not getting the results you want, then the one thing you have control over is yourself and the actions you are taking.
Wishing you all the best. Emily Bouchard, MSSW, Life Coach, Speaker, and Trainer
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 12, 2005, 5:08 PM)
I'm glad you've found helpful advice here so please keep us posted on the outcome. Eight months is plenty of time to pay off the dresses, but I also agree with the previous comment that often there are other circumstances unbeknowst to others. I wish you well with the luncheon, however, with less than six months away from the wedding date, I'd be prepared to explore other options just in case all doesn't go as planned. You deserve to have a cooperative bridal party and I am certain they would expect the same. Good luck to you!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 12, 2005, 5:09 PM)
Thanks everyone! I talked to everyone again last night and explained the urgency of ordering their dresses. I explained that this dress was the match to my wedding dress and I looked very hard to find it and took into consideration price and wearability after the wedding. Everyone now has appointments this week for their fittings and orderings. The girls are coming by my house this weekend so I can sit with them face to face and share my feelings about how I was feeling, and why I was feeling so angry and disrespected. I think they are actually starting to realize that I had reason to be angry as they all seemed shocked that none of the others were helping. Thanks again!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 12, 2005, 5:11 PM)
Well I don’t know if anyone has even looked at this in a while but here is the outcome.
I did get the dresses that I wanted and everyone looked great in them! Unfortunately my MOH was still being difficult. I ended up picking up her dress from the bridal shop where is sat at my house for yet another 4 months. She never came to get it. I tried calling her repeatedly for 2 months straight… no word. I finally decided I would drive up to her apartment myself and just hand it to her… after all she did pay for it. She wasn’t there. Another month goes by now we are weeks before my wedding. I get an email from her and she had been on her 2nd honeymoon for the past 2 months?!?!?! And in her email she informed me she couldn’t come to the rehearsal, only the rehearsal dinner. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I finally had to kick her out. I made my brother’s fiancé the MOH (she was already a bridesmaid) and she did an excellent job and the wedding went GREAT! I wish I hadn’t gone through some of the troubles that I did in planning my wedding but I’m glad to know who my true friends are and I feel like I made the right decisions even though they weren’t always the easiest.
If anyone is still reading this…. Good luck in planning your weddings; I know you are stressed now but everything will work out fine and you won’t even remember why you were so stressed afterwards!
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edited by TWQadmin on Jan 13, 2006, 3:25 PM)
deadbeat bridesmaids
