Attire for family children who are not in the wedding
My Fiance' and I are getting married in March. Our wedding party will be wearing sky blue and brown. Between us there are many young children (nieces, nephews, & cousins aged 2-10) and since there are too many to choose from we are not having children be in the wedding. Our intention was not to hurt any of their feelings by choosing. About a month ago, his sister indicated that she was going to order brown and blue dresses for her children. Having thought it over, we felt that it would not be appropriate as they may be thought of as flower girls. I spoke to his sister, voiced our concerns, asked her not to dress them in these colors, and explained why. Unfortunately this information was ill received. Can you provide any advice to quell what has turned into a blazing fire within the family?
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Dec 29, 2007, 8:38 AM
Post #2 of 6
(903 views)
Re: [agamato] Attire for family children who are not in the wedding
[In reply to]
Where is your fiance? You haven't mentioned his role or feelings on the subject. Since it's his family he should take some responsibility and the two of you should probably discuss this calmly with his family. Explain that you do not want any of the other children to think these kids were asked to be members of the bridal party and they were not. Hopefully, they will be able to see your position. If not, you've done what you can. Allow them to dress their children as they please. Probably they will just embarfass themselves and the other parents will see that they are not really members of the bridal party.
Bottom line, always present yourselves as a couple, a united front, so you do not appear as the "bad guy".
Good luck. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Nancy Tucker
PRESIDENT - WEDDINGS BEAUTIFUL
Dec 29, 2007, 10:32 AM
Post #3 of 6
(900 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] Attire for family children who are not in the wedding
[In reply to]
I totally agree. We need a website developed for the families of the bride and groom to let them know how to avoid these issues. Families create more issues in a wedding than the budget does. That's not right! Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Dec 29, 2007, 10:51 AM
Post #4 of 6
(899 views)
Re: [agamato] Attire for family children who are not in the wedding
[In reply to]
I couldn't agree more with it all. And, please ask your fiance to speak to his family. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Dec 29, 2007, 11:49 AM
Post #5 of 6
(896 views)
Re: [Nancy Tucker] Attire for family children who are not in the wedding
[In reply to]
Nancy -
This website is just as much for the families and bridal parties as it is for the brides and grooms!
But, unfortunately, many of the families who need to come here just won't. Hopefully we can help the brides, grooms and anyone else who visits. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
agamato
Dec 29, 2007, 4:37 PM
Post #6 of 6
(891 views)
Re: [agamato] Attire for family children who are not in the wedding
[In reply to]
Thank you all for your responses, they have been very helpful. To answer the question, my fiance' has been right next to me through our initial conversation about this and would have had him broach the subject if I had thought my relationship with his sister wasn't a decent one. Unfortunately, I have learned through this that maybe it wasn't as I thought. He has been the main communication with his family in the subsequent conversations and I have never felt that he wasn't just as much apart of getting through this bump in the road. We are as you said a "united front" in both in our relationship and planning of our wedding.
Attire for family children who are not in the wedding
