I am getting married in July, so I've been asking my mother what she is going to wear to the wedding. She is being very difficult. She says if I bother her then she just won't buy anything at all. She won't even look at my suggestions! I don't want all of our wedding pictures to be ruined because of her attire. And she's supposed to be walking me down the aisle with my Dad. How can I get her to listen to me? It's my wedding. She won't even let me put in a word!
As a woman who lost my mother at the age of 15, I didn't have the luxury of arguing with my mother over dresses and such. She wasn't able to be at my wedding. Try putting it all in perspective.
You've said your peace, now it's up to your mother to make her selection. She's a grown woman and we should assume she can select something appropriate. It may not be the dress of your dreams, but I doubt she'll ruin your photos.
De-stress a little, and then tell your mom, in a kind, caring manner, that you know all eyes will be on the three of you and you want her to look her best. Focus on her, her feelings, her looks, not yours. Perhaps suggest a mother/daughter shopping day. But be low key about it. You know, moms get emotional about weddings too! I'm a mom myself and I know the excitement a mom feels when her daughter is making these milestones in her life. Please try to be sensitive to her feelings too. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 27, 2009, 6:12 PM)
I can't go shopping with her, because she lives in another state. She does not have the best fashion sense, and if she chooses something hideous, I am going to cry.
I could not have put it better than the Moderator! Rest assured your Mom will not wear anything to ruin your wedding photos. There is still plenty of time until July. Don't bring up the subject for a while, then Let Mother of the Groom call your Mom to coordinate the outfits, and you will see things happening from there! Good luck and enjoy the wedding! Irina Feygin, IMpeccable iMage, Inc. Image and Beauty and For Princess Bride
If your mom selects something "hideous", why would that make you cry? Anyway, "hideous" is in the eye of the beholder.
You'll have to learn to give up that sort of control and only try to change the things you can control. Again, you made your suggestions - it's all you can do. Move on.
I'd encourage you to look beyond the wrappings and focus on what is most important about a wedding. I'll tell you this - it's not the dresses. Nor is it the gifts, or the cake or any of that "stuff'. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Because it doesn't do me any good to walk down the aisle in the perfect wedding dress if it's accompanied by a badly dressed mother. I haven't even made any suggestions yet, because she doesn't want to hear them. I'm not trying to be rude about my mother's fashion sense, but she says herself that she should be nominated for the show "What Not to Wear".
It's more than just what she wears. I feel like she is deliberately doing this to show that she doesn't have to listen to me. I haven't asked her to do anything else for the wedding. I have had to plan without her help, and my fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves. Why would any mother intentionally make her daughter upset? It won't hurt her to look at my suggestions. I feel like she's not even trying to be considerate.
If you think you will be that embarrassed by your mother's outfit, she doesn't have to walk you down the aisle.
I can't counsel you on your relationship with your mother since we don't have her side. But, know that parents aren't responsible to plan or pay for their children's weddings. Although, as a mother I would probably want to do this (maybe even more than my kids would want me to be involved) but not all parent/child relationships are the same, -- just as all people are different. I'm sorry you seem disappointed with your relationship. Again, control what you can and leave the rest. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
I couldn't agree more with what has been said. Plus, I would add that July is months from now. She really doesn't have to choose her dress now. From my perspective, I could gain or lose 10 pounds by then and the perfect dress right now might look terrible on me by July.
This really isn't something to worry about right now. And a relationship is worth so much more than clothing or pictures. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
MOB refuse to listen
I am getting married in July, so I've been asking my mother what she is going to wear to the wedding. She is being very difficult. She says if I bother her then she just won't buy anything at all. She won't even look at my suggestions! I don't want all of our wedding pictures to be ruined because of her attire. And she's supposed to be walking me down the aisle with my Dad. How can I get her to listen to me? It's my wedding. She won't even let me put in a word! 
