Stepmother of the bride picked her dress before mother of the groom
I am the bride in this situation and I may have made a mistake.
From the beginning, my mother, my stepmother (treated like a mother) and my fiance's mother have discussed their dresses. They were all concerned about not wearing the same color/style.
I mentioned several times that I feel like I have two mothers of the bride. My stepmother has played a large role in my life. My mother selected her dress and I passed on a description of my mother's dress to my stepmother and MOG. My stepmother had begun shopping and had a #1 choice. The MOG sent me a link to the dress she was interested in (but hadn't tried on or seen in person) and it was the SAME DRESS as the dress my stepmother's #1 choice (in a different color).
I debated what do to and let the MOG know that my stepmother was already interested in that dress, but was still going to look to see if she could find something else. She didn't find anything else that made her feel as wonderful as this dress. I apologized to the MOG and told her that my stepmother had selected this dress. I said that I couldn't believe this happened and I would gladly go shopping with her to find a dress. The wedding isn't for another 7.5 months!
The MOG later told my fiance how disappointed she was that my stepmother got to pick her dress before she did. I feel horrible, but at the same time, I consider there to be 2 mothers of the bride! There is nothing I can do at this point. I just don't want there to be animosity.
What do you think?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Feb 5, 2009, 10:28 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #2 of 4
(912 views)
Re: Stepmother of the bride picked her dress before mother of the groom
[In reply to]
Dear Sunnyday,
If you consider her a "mother", then she is treated as one. Basically, your mother chooses first, then the other mothers coordinate with her. It doesn't matter which one chooses first after your mother. More and more step mothers are treated as mothers. So, this shouldn't be an issue. Hopefully your future mother in law can see this soon.
She probably just wants to feel as if she is being treated as special as your mothers. It may take her time to see that she is.
Re: Stepmother of the bride picked her dress before mother of the groom
[In reply to]
Dear Rebecca -
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your advice. I couldn't find anything else on the etiquette for this, so I hope that this helps others in a similar situation. This makes me feel much better about what happened.
Sunnyday :)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #4 of 4
(898 views)
Re: Stepmother of the bride picked her dress before mother of the groom
[In reply to]
You are entirely welcome. I'm so glad I could help.
Our etiquette in this area has had to change so quickly as our lives have changed. So, it is difficult to find much in print. But, it is wonderful that our "steps" are finally being treated more and more as family. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Stepmother of the bride picked her dress before mother of the groom
