stepmother of the groom needs some help with attire
So....how does this work? The wedding party is wearing red, a bright summer candy apple kind of red! The men are in black tuxes, so is my husband as he is the best man for his son...the wedding is in the evening followed by a sit down dinner at the country club...am I to wait and see what the mother of the bride is wearing? and the groom's mother, as well........my husband's children lived with us and we have a good relationship.........so I wanted to find out before I go shopping........and how appropriate are hats? Is there an appropriate length or would an elegant pantsuit be alright to wear? or being that I am only the groom's step-mom, do I have to follow any of the traditional color schemes and just dress as any of the other guests would? I suppose black dress jeans are not in good taste (just kidding!) it's all too confusing and from other posts on this site you can see I am a bit uncomfortable in just not knowing! I thought I might be able to get away with something black or midnight navy-ish color....and just fade quietly into the evening!! Thanks for your help!
GContiMillinery
Hats / Headpiece Expert
May 8, 2005, 8:57 AM
Post #2 of 3
(2108 views)
Re: [Inessa] stepmother of the groom needs some help with attire
[In reply to]
Dear Inessa:
Hats are always appropriate (and respectful) - although, I'd keep it on the smaller side, or maybe cocktail hat or complementing headpiece. Classic and feminine. Rule of thumb for your ensemble (family members or guests alike) Nothing to overpower or upstage the bride - ever.
As for color ..... wear what you look best in! Fade into the woodwork??? Now you have lost your mind ....
You say you have a great relationship with your step-children ... why not just ask them if you are worried ????????
This is a beautiful, festive occasion .... surrounded by love and all well wishes. Relax, have fun --- be the beautiful person you are (and the kids know you to be).
Re: [Inessa] stepmother of the groom needs some help with attire
[In reply to]
Dear Stepmother,
Yours is a unique situation whereas the children lived with you. So, in affect you are the groom's mother. The problem is that we also have the groom's biological mother who should be acknowledged too. I can see why this could be difficult. It always is when there are so many parents :)
I think the best place to start would be to find out through your husband if the couple plans to have you in any of the pictures. If so, then the color and style of your dress should be similar to the bride's mother's dress, which means that you would have to contact her to find out what her dress is like. If not, then your elegant pant suit (yes, no jeans) or some other cocktail attire would be fine. Your idea of black or navy are good choices.
A hat is fine as long as it isn't too big. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
stepmother of the groom needs some help with attire
So....how does this work? The wedding party is wearing red, a bright summer candy apple kind of red! The men are in black tuxes, so is my husband as he is the best man for his son...the wedding is in the evening followed by a sit down dinner at the country club...am I to wait and see what the mother of the bride is wearing? and the groom's mother, as well........my husband's children lived with us and we have a good relationship.........so I wanted to find out before I go shopping........and how appropriate are hats? Is there an appropriate length or would an elegant pantsuit be alright to wear? or being that I am only the groom's step-mom, do I have to follow any of the traditional color schemes and just dress as any of the other guests would? I suppose black dress jeans are not in good taste (just kidding!) it's all too confusing and from other posts on this site you can see I am a bit uncomfortable in just not knowing! I thought I might be able to get away with something black or midnight navy-ish color....and just fade quietly into the evening!! Thanks for your help! 
