I have a friend who wants to design the dress for me. It's his gift to me. There are two things wrong. One: I don't think we share the vision of this dress. He wants a wildly expensive looking, princess bride type dress, and I am having a semi-formal, meager gathering. I don't think that his Melania Knauss-esque dress would be appropriate for that setting. Any ideas on what I can bring to the table without crushing his creative hand in this?
Two: He's a little bit lax when it comes to "getting the job done". We worked together for awhile in an office setting, and I know what his work ethic is like. I just worry that my dress should at least be further along than it is right now. (i.e. sketches, material purchased, fitting). Granted, I want to lose some weight, but how can I (a total novice) know when things should be put into motion?
Thanks in advance,
MA Fellow Bride
(This post was
edited by Mallyn22 on Jan 31, 2005, 3:17 PM)
You aren't clear on where he is on the project. If it's not too late, get out of the situation by finding your own dress and tell him it's the only thing you can live with. You'll never feel the same about your friendship if it's not everything you've dreamed of. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
A friend designing your wedding dress has disaster written all over it. I get the impression that it may be too late to decline the offer. That would be my first suggestion. There are just so many things that could go horribly wrong, two of which you have mentioned.
So, first you may wish to assemble a bunch of pictures of gowns you like with the colors you want. This should give him a clear picture of your tastes. Plus, you may wish to give him a budget.
Secondly, you may wish to set up a schedule with him. Just let him know that you want to make sure that you are around for fittings. This will make him take charge and hopefully stay on schedule. You may have to call every once in a while to just 'talk' and then slyly ask how the dress is going.
Your schedule would be based on when you want your dress finished.
He drew the sketch of the dress he envisioned for me. And that's it. We spoke about this first in October of 2004. The wedding is in September 2005. To top it off he changed the dress concept from total organza as the skirt to "bridal poly" as the skirt. Without consulting me.
I've been told we should purchase the material ASAP, given there are proms, sweet sixteens, Bat Mitzvahs, and of course weddings that could create a shortage in material. But he thinks that mid-August is ok to begin sizing me and putting the dress together.
Mallyn22: Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! It appears clarity is needed here from both parties. It is obvious that you are not confident of his ability to follow through, and while you appreciate the gift, the goal is to design the right dress for you rather than making a name for himself. Express your appreciation and candidly discuss the scope and details of the ceremony. Being that it is semi-formal, it should become obvious to him that an extravagant dress would be out of place. If after your discussion, he still insists on the Melania-type dress, then gift or no gift, this is not the right decision for you.
Friend designing
