Mother of the bride's role when shopping for wedding dress
Today my daughter invited me and her sister to go wedding dress shopping with her. Once we arrived at the destination, we discovered to our surprise that she had also invited a classmate and two sisters of the groom to aide in the process. My daughter seemed to be more interested in her fiance's sisters' opinions that mine or her sisters, and we felt slighted by that. We didn't even get to help pick out the dresses she was interested in but merely sat on the couch watching. My daughter expects me to pay for everything for the wedding, but I don't seem to get to be involved in the process. What is protocol these days?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Dec 16, 2007, 9:01 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Dec 17, 2007, 10:14 AM
Post #2 of 6
(826 views)
Re: [ptassara1953] Mother of the bride's role when shopping for wedding dress
[In reply to]
Dear Ptassara,
The couple really makes all of the decisions these days. But, they are also expected to pay for all of it as well. So, just because your daughter expect you to pay for all of it, doesn't mean that you have to. It is your decision to pay or no.
She could have anyone she wishes with her to help choose her dress, although it is traditional that her mother and maid of honor would be helping her. And, if you are paying it would only be polite to ask your opinion. I suppose that was her motive in asking you to accompany her.
Re: [ptassara1953] Mother of the bride's role when shopping for wedding dress
[In reply to]
Perhaps she doesn't realize she's hurt your feelings. Speak with her gently to explain your position. Let her know how excited you are about all of the planning. But, don't be a doormat. Let her know that you're not her personal bank and she's not entitled to have you pay through the nose for her wedding. Though,your gift should not come with string attached either. It's a fine line to walk, so, tread lightly. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
ptassara1953
Dec 17, 2007, 10:44 AM
Post #4 of 6
(818 views)
Re: [Etiquette Now] Mother of the bride's role when shopping for wedding dress
[In reply to]
I neglected to mention that my daughter and her boyfriend have lived together for the last 3 years. Does this make a difference in who does what or who pays for what? Also, his family is about 10 times as large as our family, and they want sit down dinners, both rehearsal and reception. It seems unfair for the bride's family (I am divorced) to have to foot the bill for a majority of the groom's family.
Also, how far in advance should the wedding dress be purchased?
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Dec 17, 2007, 10:51 AM
Post #5 of 6
(816 views)
Re: [ptassara1953] Mother of the bride's role when shopping for wedding dress
[In reply to]
Please list the buying question as a new post although, I do believe that one has been answered before so please search before posting.
No parent is obligated to host a wedding for their child anymore. If you can afford to host, or want to host, you can. If not, the bridal couple is on their own. Especially if they can afford to live on their own. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Dec 17, 2007, 12:15 PM
Post #6 of 6
(809 views)
Re: [ptassara1953] Mother of the bride's role when shopping for wedding dress
[In reply to]
I agree. The couple is financially responsible for everything these days. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Mother of the bride's role when shopping for wedding dress
