I'm getting a little nervous about my upcoming wedding. My fiance and I are in our mid-forties and this is the second marriage for each of us. Our first weddings were very small, more anti-weddings than anything else. I wore street clothes and I suspect he and his first wife did as well. This time we want to celebrate and share our love and joy with as many people as would like to come and while it isn't going to be exactly formal, I want to look like a bride! Without looking like Barbie, of course!
My fiancee, who is a civilian clergyman and a chaplain in the Army National Guard, wishes to wear his dress blue uniform (as he puts it, this is the equivalent of a tux.) If he was wearing a suit, I'd be okay with wearing a pretty street-length dress or more of a free-flowing hippie style dress. But I want to look as elegant as he does...would it be okay for me to wear a traditional wedding-type dress with the train and all, even if this is my second marriage and I am in my mid-forties and am a little heavier than most twenty-something brides? The dress I've picked out looks horrible in the magazines but in person it's exquisite. It has mocha embroidery on the bodice, a dropped waist, mocha embroidery on the hem and there's a small train. It's on order but what if I HATE it when it arrives?
STRESS!!!!!
Bridezilla B
Etiquette Now
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Dec 30, 2006, 2:06 PM
Post #2 of 8
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Re: [Lutheranchick] Terrified of looking like Barbie at my wedding!!!
[In reply to]
Dear Bridezilla B,
We do have to nod to age appropriate attire more than this being an encore wedding. Even a train is fine these days. The only no-no is the blusher veil. So, if your dress is 'age appropriate', no worries.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Terrified of looking like Barbie at my wedding!!!
[In reply to]
I guess I am just really stressing out over this. I get depressed looking at the bridal magazines because none of the models are over 20 and they're all size zero. I'm really afraid of looking like a moose at my own wedding and I'm so discouraged that I'd just as soon forget about the whole thing!
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Dec 30, 2006, 7:46 PM
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Re: [Lutheranchick] Terrified of looking like Barbie at my wedding!!!
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You know, you don't have to wear some pouffy bridal gown. Take a good friend and have a shopping day. Wear the appropriate undergarments and try on dresses of every style. These can be informal wedding dresses or just an elegant cocktail dress from a department store. Decide what is flattering on you and what makes you feel beautiful. Add some elegant pieces of jewelry and really great shoe and voila, you're a beautiful bride. Have fun! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Lutheranchick
Dec 31, 2006, 12:11 AM
Post #5 of 8
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Re: [TWQadmin] Terrified of looking like Barbie at my wedding!!!
[In reply to]
Your points are very well-taken. The trouble is, I've already picked out my dress and it's on order. I am very busy with my job and don't have a lot of time to shop so I chose the first dress that seemed reasonable for me in terms of age appropriateness and price.
I think what's making me so stressed out over this is two things:
1) I'm not the traditional bride as per the magazines. I'm in my mid-40s (thought I look ten years younger), I'm not skinny, and I'm short. I realize the magazines hire professional models to best show the fashions but it would be really nice to see REAL brides, not models, in many of these gowns. I feel really awkward when I look at these twentysomething models decked out as brides and I feel like fortysomething me is going to be just a big joke.
2) I just broke up with my best friend over my engagement. I don't have a sister and I only have casual friends or good friends who live too far away to come for a day of shopping. This is really tough on me. I would have liked her support but she doesn't like my fiance (specifically, he is of a different denomination than we are...he's still a Christian but just has slightly different beliefs...and she's over the top in being upset with me for making such a "poor" decision for a husband.
What happens if I hate the gown I ordered when it gets here? Should I show it to my fiance to see what he thinks?
Very, very stressed out here.
B
(This post was
edited by Lutheranchick on Dec 31, 2006, 12:13 AM)
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Dec 31, 2006, 11:41 AM
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Re: [Lutheranchick] Terrified of looking like Barbie at my wedding!!!
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If you hate the dress you'll have to return it and shop. The dress seems really important to you. For a special occasion such as a wedding, I'd find the time to shop - especially if you're not the perfect size 5 (like any of us are at age 40???). Most women, even younger ones, do not have perfect shapes, hence the variety of sizes and styles. I just went out shopping for prom dresses with my daughter and encouraged her to try styles she thought were not for her body type. She was shocked to see that mom was right! Again, I'd definitely go and try dresses on if the dress you ordered comes and you aren't completely thrilled with it.
Let us know how it goes. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Dec 31, 2006, 3:02 PM
Post #7 of 8
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Re: [Lutheranchick] Terrified of looking like Barbie at my wedding!!!
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Agreed! And, one more thing that may help you with your image of the perfect bride... when you have time, try watching one of those silly programs on television about brides and their weddings. Not many look like the models in the magazines. Most look like the rest of us. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
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Jan 1, 2007, 1:22 PM
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Re: [Lutheranchick] Terrified of looking like Barbie at my wedding!!!
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Oh Rebecca, that is such a good suggestion! Watch the one about the bridezillas and see how foolish they look when they focus on the very unimportant details and gloss over the really important parts like the vows. It may prove to be an eye opening experience - though very painful. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Terrified of looking like Barbie at my wedding!!!
Again, I'd definitely go and try dresses on if the dress you ordered comes and you aren't completely thrilled with it. 