Hello, I was married 5 years ago in a town hall in Spain. This was done with no family present as it was only for legal purposes. My husband is from Spain and we needed to get his residency for him to live with me in the States. We had always planned on having a reception or a ceremony/reception/honeymoon that we never had.
I have seen that it is not appropriate to wear a train/veil to a second wedding, but I am wondering if it is also true in my situation. This isn't really another wedding and would be more of a renewal ceremony, or just a belated reception. I have fallen in love with a dress with a train, and am wondering if it would be really inappropriate for me to wear it, never having actually "walked down the aisle" before.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. By the way, the reception would be at a somewhat formal seafood restaurant in Spain that caters to weddings and other special events. I don't know if the difference in country would change the etiquette "rules" either. Anyone know?
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
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Nov 3, 2004, 9:16 AM
Post #2 of 11
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Re: [tidje] Train in a renewal ceremony?
[In reply to]
Wearing a veil would not be appropriate in your situation since you and your husband have been living together as man and wife. The veil is seen as a sign of purity. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Nov 3, 2004, 9:21 AM)
tidje
Nov 3, 2004, 10:27 AM
Post #3 of 11
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Re: [TWQadmin] Train in a renewal ceremony?
[In reply to]
I don't care so much about the veil- I was hoping someone could tell me if the TRAIN would be inappropriate.
Thanks
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
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Nov 3, 2004, 10:56 AM
Post #4 of 11
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Re: [tidje] Train in a renewal ceremony?
[In reply to]
Typically, vow renewal ceremonies are not ultra formal so many second time brides will forgo the train. There are no real restrictions though so consider the formality of your event, time of day and venue, and thern choose a dress that fits the style of your event. If you have doubts then consider a "sweep" length which will give you the effect of the train. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Nov 3, 2004, 11:28 AM
Post #5 of 11
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Re: [tidje] Train in a renewal ceremony?
[In reply to]
Renewal brides are supposed to forgo the train also. I haven't a clue why though. It just isn't done. I love the idea of the sweep.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Train in a renewal ceremony?
[In reply to]
I have a comment about te etiquette of second weddings.
When I was talking to a friend about my post, she told me that these comments are silly because the princess of Spain was married to the prince in a second wedding ceremony for her (she was divorced before marrying the prince), and she had a very, very long train and also wore a mantilla, or spanish veil.
If anyone is severely governed by etiqutte and protocol it's the royal families.
Anyone have any comments on that? Is this because it is a different country?, because a princess is supposed to wear a train? and veil? or because these etiqutte rules are getting old and aren't really followed anymore?
This wedding was not a formal wedding, either. It was in the early afternoon (lunch reception), and assisting parties wore suits and knee length skirts.
I, however, would like to have a more formal evening event.
It seems severe to me that a rule of etiquette would prevent someone to walk down the aisle once in their lives in the dress of their dreams when faced with a situation in which they couldn't do so in their first ceremony.
Would this be different, then, if I would skip the renewal ceremony and just call this a belated reception?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Nov 4, 2004, 6:47 AM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
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Nov 4, 2004, 6:58 AM
Post #7 of 11
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Re: [tidje] Train in a renewal ceremony?
[In reply to]
As I said in the former post:
"There are no real restrictions though so consider the formality of your event, time of day and venue, and thern choose a dress that fits the style of your event." This would be a valid statement when dressing for any wedding.
We are speaking in generalities here and assuming that the majority of our visitors are not royalty.Our experts are trained here in the US and England, not in Spain. I would suggest consulting with a wedding planner in Spain.
Etiquette is not a law but rather a way that most people view as being proper. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Nov 4, 2004, 10:13 AM
Post #8 of 11
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Re: [tidje] Train in a renewal ceremony?
[In reply to]
I really can't tell you what is proper for royalty in Spain, or what is typically traditionally correct for the average person in Spain. But, I can tell you what is typically correct here. I say typically because we do have areas, regions where etiquette is slightly different. Take for example fences. Here in California, good fences make good neighbors. Yet, in many parts of the country it is considered rude to erect a fence.
And, as you say some etiquette is changing because it is not relevant to the way we live our lives anymore. However, most second or reaffirmation brides do not wear a train, none are to wear a veil. If you really want to wear the dress of your dreams and it is not what is typically worn by brides of your status, that is your choice. No etiquette police will come to your wedding and put you in etiquette classes as punishment.
We can only tell you what the rules are today.
Best wishes for the wedding of your dreams. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
mannersmith
Manners & Etiquette Expert
Nov 24, 2004, 4:41 AM
Post #9 of 11
(3874 views)
Re: [tidje] Train in a renewal ceremony?
[In reply to]
Yes, etiquette is culturally specific. And yes, in America a second wedding AND an afternoon wedding would dictate no veil and a minimal train. And YES, there is no such thing as the etiquette police. People need to consider the etiquette guidelines and then make their own mature and informed decision.
Yours, Jodi R R Smith
randysgirl
Nov 28, 2004, 1:16 PM
Post #10 of 11
(3865 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] Train in a renewal ceremony?
[In reply to]
In Reply To
Wearing a veil would not be appropriate in your situation since you and your husband have been living together as man and wife. The veil is seen as a sign of purity.
My fiancee and I are getting married in July and it will be the first wedding for both of us. We have been living together for 2 years. Does this mean that it would be inappropriate for me to wear a veil??
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Nov 28, 2004, 2:22 PM
Post #11 of 11
(3861 views)
Re: [tidje] Train in a renewal ceremony?
[In reply to]
As I was saying in my previous answer, etiquette rules are changing daily to reflect the way we live today. To my surprise in Peggy Post's newest etiquette book, Emily Post's Etiquette, 17th edition, she states that it is fine for the encore bride to wear a veil and short train as long as the veil does not cover the face. However, you have not been married, so you may wear any type of veil and train that you wish. These 'rules' apply only to those who have been married before.
Train in a renewal ceremony?
