My fiance's mom would like to hand down her wedding dress to her daughter. However, the dress is too big, and vintage 70's (long sleeve chiffon... planning a September wedding in Texas). It would probably cost as much to alter it as it would be to buy a new one.
any polite way to decline on the dress?
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edited by TWQadmin on May 21, 2005, 8:21 AM)
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May 21, 2005, 8:38 AM
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Re: [cpantusa] hand me down wedding dress
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Is your fiance really doesn't like the dress then honesty is the best policy. Honesty, done tactfully, is the best way to decline this offer.
Perhaps the bride-to-be can take her mom to lunch and explain the reasons she cannot wear the dress. Have her begin by telling her mom how much it means to her to have her make this generous offer. Then go on to explain the size, cost and weather. Let her know that the alterations would change the entire look of the dress and that she would be uncomfortable in it. She could ask her mom how she would have felt wearing her mom's wedding dress. Many brides want the experience of trying on dresses and finding a special dress of their own. Then, maybe the bride could suggest she wear some accessory from her mom's wedding (a veil, gloves, etc). End the discussion with positives. Have her remind her mom of how much she loves her, what it means to her to have her mom at her wedding, being supportive and caring.
On a personal note...I had my dress preserved and upon a recent move my daughter and I discovered it. When she asked me why I had preserved the dress so carefully I told her it was in case one of my daughters wanted to wear it at their weddings. She hesitated, but then told me that it probably wasn't her style. It stung for a second but we went on to discuss how much fun it would be to select a new dress for her when it came time.
Once I took a hard look at the dress though, I realized that it was not a good style for my daughter and was a bit dated.
It would have been more hurtful to me if she lied or forced herself into a dress she would be uncomfortable wearing since my first preference is always my children's happiness. But, that's just my own personal experience. Only your fiance knows her mom and how to deal with her personality. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
hand me down wedding dress
