Listing both biological mother and adopted mother on wedding programs
Hello, I can really use your advice as wedding is 4 days away and bride has just asked me to do the programs. I am the MOH and "sister" of the bride. My parents "adopted" bride as an adult, as she is from another country, she's also adopted us. She calls our parents Mom & Dad. Although she is not my bio sister she is closer than a best friend and I am honored to be her sister.
Dilemna is that "her" bio mother & extended family is coming in to attend the wedding, yet she insists that I include "our" mother then "her" mother on the program. Both mothers will also be seated simultaneously, and our dad will give bride away - her bio dad is deceased. I feel it is my duty as the MOH not only to assist bride with her wishes but also to give her wise counsel, and prevent hurt feelings and avoid conflicts and offenses. She says she's spoken to her mother and she understands, but since the families haven't formally met there's no rapport. Also her bio family members have been very opinionated about us in the past so our mother (mine) doesn't feel comfortable with sharing that honored spot and doesnt want to infringe on bride's bio mother.
Since the programs will commemorate a sacred event for time to come, in print, I want to be sensitive to all parties involved, as I am aware her mother and family have gone though significant effort and expense to get here. How can I honor bride's request without outright defying her wishes?
Mother of the Bride - Bio Mother Special Mother of the Bride - Mom ??? or Honorary Mother?
Sorry the post is so long. I am grateful for any guidance you can offer. Thanks.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Aug 1, 2007, 9:29 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Aug 1, 2007, 12:02 PM
Post #2 of 2
(498 views)
Re: [cpbw2007] Listing both biological mother and adopted mother on wedding programs
[In reply to]
Dear CPBW,
Typically, you would list your mother as honored guest with her name. But, if she addresses her as mother, this places it into a different ball park. And, I agree that this could affect her bio family.
Perhaps to be fair and to follow the bride's wishes, you could list your mother as: Honorary Mother. That could appease her bio family and the bride. Your father could simply be listed as: Escort of the bride with his name.
Listing both biological mother and adopted mother on wedding programs
