I posted about an issue with wedding bands, but it got me thinking about another issue. My husband and I are married under the common law in Texas. We walked into the county clerk's office one day, told them we had been living together as husband and wife and would like to register that fact. That's the way we made it "legal." Still, most of our family considers us "living together" but not married, although we have explained many times that we are. In their eyes, however, a common law marriage is not "real." (Most of my family are Mexican immigrants, and Mexico doesn't recognize common law marriages.)
Our families have both always pressured us to get married in the Catholic church, as we are both Catholic. Suddenly, it seems like "the right thing to do" and both of us agree we should. We assumed we would be having a convalidation.
We want to have a small celebration with just family and friends. The problem is my mother wants to invite everyone in our family- aunts, uncles, cousins, second-cousins, etc. She says since we never had a proper wedding it would be rude not to invite them! I know they will be expecting a wedding-like experience, which this is clearly not. How do I deal with this?
It may be best to send her here or try to explain that it isn't proper to treat this as a wedding and that you will be embarrassed. She shouldn't be inviting anyone anyway.
Perhaps instead of labeling your wedding as "common law", call it marrying by the county clerk. Common law marriages are often just a couple living together for many years and there isn't any legal papers linking them together as husband and wife. So, this could be your family's perception here.
Celebrating convalidation
