My 20 year old sister just recently passed away (in Jan) She was going to be a bridesmaid as she was my only sister. We also have custody of her son now. We will be getting married on my father's land where her ashes were spread and I plan to say our vows with her "memorial" acting as a backdrop. (it is a small area surrounded by flowers & a very non depressing beautiful Angel statue) I also planned on having an area with photos of her & other deceased loved ones who have recently passed (2 Aunts, 2 Grandfathers, 1 Cousin & 1 Uncle) But I still want to do something more. Is this normal or am I still "grieving" and making more of this. She was 7 years my Jr, our parents were divorced & my Mother worked 2 jobs. I helped raise her and we were very close. I was also thinking of having a picture on a stand in position of where a bridesmaid would stand during the ceremony. Is this too much?
RevSusanna
Interfaith Wedding Minister
Jun 25, 2007, 9:20 AM
Post #2 of 2
(337 views)
Re: [bridew6] Deceased sister & other family members
[In reply to]
You are obviously still grieving and that is completely understandable. If there are those who think it is too much, then they do not know the depths of grief. You have suffered so much loss. My heart goes out to you. As a minister, I have confronted similiar situations with the families I serve. Sometimes pictures are placed on the ceremonial table. Sometimes candles are lit---though not often in outdoor weddings. Sometimes flowers along with a card or note in their honor are placed on the ceremonial table. As a minister, I have often said a few uplifting words about the deceased, echoing the feelings of the family members. We acknowledge that they will remain forever in the hearts of those who love them. They are sorely missed. Thomas Paine once wrote, "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others remains immortal." It can all be poignant but not maudlin. There is a way to mention your grief without diminishing the joy for your marriage. There is room for tears of grief and tears of joy on your wedding day and within God's radiant universe. The key is to be true to yourself and other family members.
Deceased sister & other family members
