Hello everyone! This is my first post here. So my fiance and I have been engaged for about 1 year now. We are young (21) and are both in college. We have decided to have a court house wedding in December, with a small honeymoon. But, we are also planning on having a bigger ceremony and reception in the summer of 2011. We would get married now, but we just don't have the money. We hope that getting married in December will help us save some money for the bigger celebration ( we will save money by getting more financial aid). I'm wondering what the etiquette would be for the bigger ceremony? We will inform family and friends of our December wedding, but we would really love to have everyone there for a bigger and more "real" wedding. We would not ask for gifts in December, but is it rude to register for our 2011 wedding, since we will be moved into a bigger place by then and will need new things? We want to write our own vows for the 2011 wedding, so should we label it more of a renewed vows ceremony than an actual wedding? Sorry this post is so long, I just have lot's of questions. Thank you very much!!
TWQadmin
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Post #2 of 3
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Re: Having a ceremony after a court house wedding?
[In reply to]
You cannot have two weddings. Once you're married, you're married. There is no recreating the thrill of exchanging your vows. Plus, you'll be legally married. I doubt your loved ones will want to miss that exchange. You could be married and then, within one year, host a reception. But, you're both in college and have a lot to focus on right now. Having access to more financial aid and saving money is not a good reason to get married. Wait and have the wedding of your dreams (If you're in love, your relationship will thrive as it has over this past year) or, if you don't want to wait, then host a wedding you can afford now.
A vow renewal is usually done for benchmark anniversaries and not in an attempt to recreate a wedding.
The question about when to register, in my opinion, is moot.
When you're ready to marry, focus on the marriage, vows and ceremony, (not on how the wedding can line your pocket) since those are the components of a lasting marriage. Money is usually what causes the issues.
Best of luck in the future. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Sep 18, 2009, 11:21 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #3 of 3
(143 views)
Re: Having a ceremony after a court house wedding?
[In reply to]
I completely agree. The second ceremony would be a pretend wedding, which is not proper or polite. It definitely is not a gift giving event, since it really isn't a true event. It wouldn't even be a vow renewal.
We have 100s of posts about this same issue. It may be best to peruse some to gain more insight of how these ceremonies may be perceived.
I agree that waiting or just hosting a reception within the first year of marriage is best. Please note that the reception would not be a gift giving event. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Having a ceremony after a court house wedding?
