I am from the US and my fiance is from Germany. We want to include both languages in our vows, but disagree about how to go about this. I would like for us to say our vows first in one language and then in the other, doing both before moving on to the other person's vows. I don't care which language is first. My fiance, however, feels that this is too long , and that saying the vows twice would diminish their meaning. He would like each of us to only say the vows in one language (for instance, his in only German or only English). My problem with this is that I have dreamed my whole life of hearing and saying those words. Now I won't get to have one of these. I speak a bit of German, but not enough that it makes sense on a deep, gut level. I want to hear him say those words, and I want to promise them to him, on a level that makes sense to me. I don't think it takes away from the meaning of the vows to repeat them, but makes it special to do it in two languages. This is the one point of the wedding we both seem to have strong feelings about, that we both won't back down on, and that we both "need" to have go our way. For me, the vows and hearing them like I always dreamed, and promising them in a way we both understand is crucial.
What do we do? How can we compromise on this?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Mar 5, 2006, 7:53 AM)
It sounds like Fiance' has made the compromise and you're not willing to accept it. The actual timing to add both language versions wouldn't more than 5 or 6 minutes. You need to make it work for both of you.
You could always do it in English and print the German in your program. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
Have you explained this to your fiance` from your heart, in a way he can hear you? Have you told him what you have told us:
"I have dreamed my whole life of hearing and saying those words. I speak a bit of German, but not enough that it makes sense on a deep, gut level."
Many of my couples have done their vows in two languages. It only adds minutes. Also, I think his family would appreciate hearing you speak their native language.
Including 2 languages in wedding vows
