Both my fiance and I are from divorced families. Both of our fathers are remarried. I'm not the biggest fan of my step mother, but his step-mother has been in his life for 20 years and he is very close with her. I would like to do something to honor all of the mothers in our lives during the ceremony. Even though I don't like my step-mom I would feel very strange about including his step-mother and not my own. Any suggestions about small things I could do to honor all 4 of the mothers in our lives?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
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Re: Including 4 mothers in the ceremony
[In reply to]
Dear MaraNicky,
They should all be listed in your program if you have one. They could all receive flowers. And, they all could be seated as special. If they all get along fine, they could be seated in the first row. If not, the fathers and their wives could be seated in the third (this is typical).
Re: Including 4 mothers in the ceremony
[In reply to]
Often, but not always, I begin the ceremony with, "We begin the ceremony with a symbolic gift of beauty and gratitude to the women who gave the bride and groom life, their mothers." (Roses are traditional--blush or pink. Lilies and peonies are also motherly flowers.) For your biological mothers, I would suggest that you attach a personal note of love and gratitude to the flower's stem. Then your officiant may add, "Our bride and groom would also like to honor their stepmothers." And you may give each of your stepmothers single flowers without notes. Another option is to reserve the flowers for your biological mothers and have your stepmothers do a reading instead. They may share one reading if it is longer. Yet another option is to give all four women flowers without notes, and have your biological mothers also participate in the lighting of the unity candle. They would light the side candles, symbolic of their giving you life. I hope this helps. There is always a way of honoring without dishonoring--- while remaining genuine. All blessings, Rev. Susanna Reverend Susanna Stefanachi Macomb Author of Joining Hands and Hearts, Interfaith, Intercultural Wedding Celebrations, A Practical Guide for Couples
Including 4 mothers in the ceremony
