My fiance and I are, in some respects, planning a very informal wedding. We see it as a great chance to dress up, but invited people to wear jeans if that's all they feel comfortable in. We're having our favorite burrito joint cater, and the flower girl is throwing candy. My parents see all of it as great fun, except that we're also planning on the wedding party sitting in custom-made beanbag chairs, and the two of us in a papasan chair during the ceremony. The wedding party will each stand for a reading, and then my fiance and I will stand and give our vows. The wedding party are all very excited about their beanbag chairs (we're giving them as gifts), so I'd hate to cut them out.
My parents object that my mid-western farmer family members will think that we're not serious about our vows, or that we're intentionally making fun of marriage. I think that most of their objections are because my fiance and I are atheists, and we're not having a pastor marry us, not from the informality. No matter what we do, those relatives are going to realize that our wedding isn't their typical religious wedding, but is it disrespectful for us to sit?
RevSusanna
Interfaith Wedding Minister
Apr 18, 2007, 9:02 PM
Post #2 of 4
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Re: [GirlieQ] Informality in the ceremony is disrespectful?
[In reply to]
Dear GirlQ, It is your wedding and your wishes take precedent. Having said that, I must say in all the weddings I have done, from the traditonal to the alternative, from the formal to the informal, the bride and groom have stood during the vows even if they were seated throughout the rest of the ceremony, with the exception of those who have taken their vows on their knees. A happy compromise for your family would be for you and the bridal party to stand during your vows. Your parents may prefer this as well.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Apr 18, 2007, 9:08 PM)
GirlieQ
Apr 19, 2007, 2:54 PM
Post #3 of 4
(599 views)
Re: [RevSusanna] Informality in the ceremony is disrespectful?
[In reply to]
We've always been planning to stand for our vows. We'll only be sitting through the wedding partys' readings.
The objection was to us sitting *at all* during the ceremony, probably because they've never seen anyone do it before. But if you have, I'm satisfied that we're not doing anything too terrible. Thank you so much for putting my mind at ease.
RevSusanna
Interfaith Wedding Minister
Apr 19, 2007, 7:46 PM
Post #4 of 4
(592 views)
Re: [GirlieQ] Informality in the ceremony is disrespectful?
[In reply to]
I see nothing wrong with your being seated during the readings. The congregation in a church normally stays seated even during scripture readings. I have had couples sit through much of the ceremony because they feel more comfortable seated, or because one has a bad back. In some traditions, it is commonplace for the bride and groom to be seated through much of the ceremony.
Love and reverence lives in your heart, not your feet!
Informality in the ceremony is disrespectful?
