When did it happen that it was considered only the bride and groom's day? I've always thought that it was a day that should be celebrated by everyone and with everyone being able to participate in the joy of the event! This seems to be a consensus with some young people.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Aug 7, 2007, 5:42 PM)
TWQadmin
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Aug 7, 2007, 5:41 PM
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Re: [StepMom Mary] And on another subject....
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Welcome to the entitled generation, Mary! Very frustrating, isn't it.
I take every opportunity to speak my mind on this board when it comes to "sharing the love". Seems as though some brides get caught up in the "me" moment - totally forgetting how they got into the world and why they are even having a wedding. This is a good time to remind everyone that they are hosting the wedding for everyone they love and care about which includes family and friends.
This is a scan of an article I recently read that I think explains a lot. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Aug 7, 2007, 5:45 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Aug 8, 2007, 10:16 AM
Post #3 of 9
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Re: [StepMom Mary] It's not just the bride and groom's day
[In reply to]
I completely agree. Living in a university town I hear about this problem quite a bit.
But, one element of the wedding being about the couple that I do agree with is that they now are obligated to pay for and plan their weddings as they are quite capable of doing so. The wedding isn't about the parents anymore. In the past, the bride's parents paid for the event. So, they also shared the event with their daughter by inviting all of their friends. This isn't the case anymore. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
StepMom Mary
Aug 8, 2007, 10:53 AM
Post #4 of 9
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Re: [Et.byRebecca] It's not just the bride and groom's day
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However, if the bride wants family participation, hasn't she given that "right/privilege" back to the family to offer suggestions for what is more comfortable for that famiy member? This particular situation has left no room for negotiation, leaving us feeling her "entitlement," as the other moderator suggested.
On another note: This is such a great place for input into a subject with so many controversies! Thanks for being there!!!
StepMom Mary
Aug 8, 2007, 10:58 AM
Post #5 of 9
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Re: [StepMom Mary] It's not just the bride and groom's day
[In reply to]
PS: In a ceremony of love, we would have hoped for a little more care, concern and compassion, rather than the "me" thing. The bottom line: We have decided not to attend, because of this. There's a point when the "child" should mature, and we should not have to enable this behavior.
TWQadmin
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Aug 8, 2007, 11:38 AM
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Re: [StepMom Mary] It's not just the bride and groom's day
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Oh gosh - before you make this decision please have a talk with the bride. You may do more damage to the relationship by not attending and you'll probably regret the decision. I understand you want to make a point with her but is it possible for you to find some other way? Try to find a way to attend without enabling her bad behavior. If you're financially supportive, maybe hold back some of that support.
If the bride is this entitled, she surely won;t get what you're trying to do by staying away.
Also - if the bride has asked for your participation, you can certainly give suggestions, but not demands. Carefully consider what you are asking if her and give yourself some cooling off time. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Aug 8, 2007, 11:40 AM)
StepMom Mary
Aug 8, 2007, 12:16 PM
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Re: [TWQadmin] It's not just the bride and groom's day
[In reply to]
This isn't the first time that we have had these kinds of issues with her. We were actually estranged from her for awhile, but by her. We have been in communique with her about her wedding arrangements. She keeps coming back with unsympathetic and scarcastic remarks about my husband, demanding respect for herself without regard of respect for my husband. From the beginning her response has not been as endearing as we had hoped. We certainly would have been more responsive if she was. It has gotten to the point that even if we did attend, the harm is done and it would not be as joyous. It's been made clear where I stand, and I have told my husband that I would not attend and that he is free to attend if he wishes. But he does not wish to. We even considered him going to "give her away," and he would leave immediately, not taking part in the festivities afterward.
StepMom Mary
Aug 9, 2007, 12:57 PM
Post #8 of 9
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Re: [TWQadmin] And on another subject....
[In reply to]
I just wanted to make one final note of appreciation of the enlightment about "the Entitlement Generation." I don't know where we've been that we had not heard of this. My husband and I will be looking more into this, so that we can understand how to cope with this...seeing as we have five children in this generation!
Hopefully, this post will help other parents understand the real issues behind our children of this generation.
Once again...thanks!
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
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Aug 9, 2007, 1:16 PM
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Re: [StepMom Mary] And on another subject....
[In reply to]
Yes, after all, "we" created them. Good luck with all of this. We've enjoyed interacting with you. Please let us know how it all works our for you. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
It's not just the bride and groom's day
Re: [TWQadmin] And on another subject....
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