Married couple wants wedding not marriage convalidation ceremony
My husband and I are going to have our marriage validated in the catholic church. We want our friends and family to attend but want no gifts. I keep reading how wrong it is to want an actual wedding but when you could not afford it to begin with is it wrong to have it now? I do not want people to think that we do not take this seriously, but this is what we want. What would be the right thing to do?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on May 29, 2008, 3:19 PM)
DennyandKay
MARRIAGE PREPARATION ADVISORS
May 29, 2008, 4:42 PM
Post #2 of 3
(318 views)
Re: Married couple wants wedding not marriage convalidation ceremony
[In reply to]
Congratulations on your upcoming marriage validation ceremony. It will be a joyous occasion for you to be able to receive the sacraments once again.
Since you are already in a marriage union, this ceremony cannot be considered a wedding, strictly speaking. You will be repeating your vows in the Catholic Church, according to canon law. It is the Church's way of recognizing your current marriage union.
It is completely acceptable to have a best man and maid or matron of honor to stand with you as witnesses, but your guest list should be small. A celebration afterwards would certainly be in order and you could invite as many people as you pleased. It is wise and considerate of you not to request gifts.
Talk with your priest. He will be able to advise you as to details.
Re: Married couple wants wedding not marriage convalidation ceremony
[In reply to]
We all make decisions in our lives. If a couple wishes to marry, they either save for their dream wedding or host the wedding they can afford at the time and make the leap. We can host a vow renewal later on a bench mark anniversary, but it still isn't a wedding. And, the convalidation isn't either.
As per etiquette standards, this shouldn't appear to be a wedding, especially if inviting guests. So, to appear proper, there wouldn't be attendants, as this would be a wedding element. And, you don't need witnesses to make this legal. You are already married. This is supposed to be just a small religious ceremony in which you wear dressy clothes, not wedding attire, and state your vows for the church. The only reason to do this is for the church to recognize your union, not to marry again. If inviting guests, it often appears that you want to play bride and receive gifts. So, it is very positive that you expect none. It isn't a gift giving event.
The party is fine, because this is often an anniversary event. But, it shouldn't appear to be a wedding reception. It may appear very odd.
Please read our many, many posts on this subject. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Married couple wants wedding not marriage convalidation ceremony
