My daughter is getting married in August. Her boyfriend asked me if he could marry her. I like her fiance very much. I am divorced from her mother and am remarried with 2 children. When she became engaged I was the first one she told. I thought we had a great realtionship. When she set her wedding date she told me that she had asked her brother to walk her down the aisle and not me. I am very hurt by this. Is it proper for her brother and not me to walk her down the aisle? How do I let her know, without causing conflict that I am hurt by this? I thought that a father was supposed to walk his daughter down the aisle. She is paying for her own wedding so I guess it is her choice. Should I let her know I am upset?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 11, 2008, 11:56 AM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
May 30, 2008, 10:17 AM
Post #2 of 4
(353 views)
Re: who should walk my daughter down the aisle?
[In reply to]
While it is your daughter's right to select her escort, I understand you're feeling hurt since it has been traditionally the role of the father to walk his daughter down the aisle. But, with this ever-changing world in which we live, we see more and more people moving away from tradition. Heck, it used to be traditional to marry before having children, yet, each day on this very forum we get questions from couples who want their 5 year old child to walk his mom down the aisle to join with his dad so they can "all become married". . That's a whole 'nother thread!
Perhaps you could take your daughter to lunch and gently discuss her choice. Using phrases like "I feel" rather than "you made me feel" would be a great place to start. Perhaps she has her reasons and she'll share them or maybe she doesn't even know that you're hurt. Tread lightly.
But, this is your personal choice, not really an etiquette standard. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
yvonne"instep"
Social Worker, Stepmother, Certified Stepfamily Counsellor
May 30, 2008, 10:31 AM
Post #3 of 4
(346 views)
Re: who should walk my daughter down the aisle?
[In reply to]
Great answer from our Queen by the way. I would definitely agree taht you want to talk with her about this. The relationship is the important thing here and if you don't address this, let her know how you're feeling and simply clarify why she made this choice, then this will fester for you. She may not even realize the impact on you. So do tread lightly, but don't let this go undiscussed. Pick the right time and place, and just let her know what you're feeling and why you had been expecting that she would ask you to walk her down the aisle.
Best of Luck!! Yvonne Kelly, MSW, RSW, Certified Stepfamily Counsellor and Coach, Co-Founder and Director of the Step and Blended Family Institute http://www.stepinstitute.ca
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
May 30, 2008, 2:54 PM
Post #4 of 4
(337 views)
Re: who should walk my daughter down the aisle?
[In reply to]
Wow, not much more to say here, except I completely agree.
I'm sorry your feelings are hurt. Take care. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
who should walk my daughter down the aisle?
My daughter is getting married in August. Her boyfriend asked me if he could marry her. I like her fiance very much. 
. That's a whole 'nother thread! 
