I'm embarassed that I even have to ask this but *takes a deep breath.
I was invited to a wedding by someone who is going to be the best man. I have been on 3 casual dates with him (friends, for a bit longer ). I do not know anyone at this wedding. Friends family etc. Originally , I was just going to attend the reception. Then he invited me to the rehearsal dinner as well, and I accepted (though as I am so shy , I can't fathom why I did so).
My dilemma is fear based. If I go to the dinner, then just going to the reception is truly impolite, yes? I should go to the wedding then, even if I will feel amazingly uncomfortable right? I'm trying to be brave.
Also, because I am attending as his(the best man's) *date*, I am not sure if I should bring a gift , or not, maybe bring a card w/money? What is acceptable? I'm so terrified.
regards, Alera
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Sep 23, 2004, 11:11 AM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Sep 23, 2004, 11:28 AM
Post #2 of 7
(1639 views)
Re: [alera] *confused about attending ceremony
[In reply to]
Dear Alera:
There is no need to be afraid. Relax! Help is here!
Please take some time to discuss your fears with your "best man". This way, he will understand and hopefully not leave you "out in the cold' by including you (when he can), introducing you (HOPEFULLY HE WOULD DO THIS ANYWAY) and doing little things like coming by your table in between courses (if you are not seated with him). Let him know that you are very shy and will be uncomfortable to be left to fend for yourself. Hopefully he will understand and keep you Company, ask you to dance and introduce you to the other guests.
Now, that being said, you should absolutely attend the wedding ceremony. I personally believe that the ceremony IS the wedding and find it rude to just attend the party. Plus, this will be the one place where you can sit comfortably and not have to make conversation!
During the rehearsal dinner you will get to meet the bridal party, family and maybe some of the guests and you may actually enjoy yourself so go with your head held high (Hey...you are a terrific person!). This will be good practice for you for any future events and I am sure there will be many. Practice does make perfect...I know... I was young and shy myself once too! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Jill
Psychotherapist: Second Weddings & Stepfamilies
Sep 23, 2004, 11:35 AM
Post #3 of 7
(1636 views)
Re: [alera] *confused about attending ceremony
[In reply to]
You must talk to your friend about your worries. As 'best man' he will have plenty of duties on the day so he does need to know he will need to look out for you too. However, by going to the dinner you will meet other wedding guests, so just enjoy it. You should certainly go to the ceremony - you know the saying... in for a penny, in for a pound! Jill Curtis Psychotherapist, Author How to Get Married ... Again (A Guide to Second Weddings) London, UK http://www.familyonwards.com
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Sep 23, 2004, 2:16 PM
Post #4 of 7
(1624 views)
Re: [alera] *confused about attending ceremony
[In reply to]
Dear Alera,
I agree with the other great experts and wish to add one more comment. As a guest of the 'best man' you are not expected to bring a gift. You may, if you wish, send a card later to state that you had a wonderful time--entirely optional.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] *confused about attending ceremony
[In reply to]
Thank you *SO* much. I feel much more at ease knowing what is appropriate. I will go dig up my brave face, I know it's around here somewhere. =)
thank you ,thank you ,thank you, thank you!
Alera
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Sep 23, 2004, 7:00 PM
Post #6 of 7
(1615 views)
Re: [alera] *confused about attending ceremony
[In reply to]
Alera, you are so cute. Everyone is going to love you. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Sep 23, 2004, 8:53 PM
Post #7 of 7
(1609 views)
Re: [alera] *confused about attending ceremony
[In reply to]
You will be great! Don't let your shyness keep you from enjoying life. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
*confused about attending ceremony
