My family, including parents and siblings just recently went to a close family members wedding. My brother and I have children and had worked out our own babysitting for the adult reception to follow the ceremony. Before we could gather up the children who were playing in the public park area, the Matron of honor, our cousin, sister to the bride,,,,,,,,, side-swiped my mother. She rudely got in her face and stated "we are very upset you have those children here, we were very clear about the children, and we just knew you would pull something like this"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did not witness this as I had stepped away from all the other family we were visiting with outside, to use the restroom before I took the children back to the hotel to feed them and get them settled before returning the the reception 3 miles away.
My mother, in a state of shock couldn't even respond to her niece's attack much less catch her breath and was brought to tears. I found out later that my mom had asked my aunt, mother of the bride, about any babysitters that she might know since we were from out of town and my brother was coming from another state entirely. My snobby aunts response was "I don't know any babysitters". Then apparently they talked behind our backs and just knew we would pull something. I am not sure what they were expecting exactly, because I still don't think we broke any rules. I am searching for an answer to end all the ugliness that followed because the Matron of honor threw a swearing fit, causing the guy at the front desk of this public rec center to call the police. Then her husband thought my father call them so he threatened to beat him up. All of this before my mother and I could return and after finding out what had taken place my mother and father both left to return to their room at the hotel. I remained to honor and celebrate the reason we were there. I greeted my cousin and hugged her even after she behaved horribly to my mother, later I also said hello to her idiot husband and gave him a hug, simply because I know what good behavior is. Four days after the wedding the Matron of honor, my cousin and used to be very close cousin, left two fithy, horrible phone messaged on my answering machine that my children could hear. We are apparently out of the family if I don't write letters of apology to every one. My mom is so hurt by it and we really don't "do drama", that we already decided that they don't really make and effort or bring anything to the relationship and we were already out.
Being a civilized person I am going to write to my other cousin the bride and let her know that it was a beautiful day and let her know we thought honestly that we were acting properly in regards to the ceremony and had no intention of having our children there at the reception ever.
Please let me know if we were mistaken to think that ceremonies were open to all except in cases of private property such as someones home? I care only to make amends with the bride on this subject. Please help!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 18, 2004, 3:22 PM
Post #2 of 3
(3953 views)
Re: [shannon] Adult only Receiption Horror
[In reply to]
Dear Adult Only,
If your question is, "Are all ceremonies open to all except in the case of private property such as someone's home?" No, they are not. If someone wants an all adult ceremony, then that person should be able to have an all adult ceremony. I'm not saying that it is polite to those with children, it is simply their right to do so.
Was it appropriate for your cousin to over react? No. But, that is something else entirely.
I am sorry that this happened and especially during a situation that should be pleasant. I hope that you and your family can get past this.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Adult only Receiption Horror
[In reply to]
This is a very sad situation but maybe if you sent a nice letter to the bride and groom explaining that you had a babysitter for the reception and that you apologize for the misunderstanding maybe you could smooth it over and get past it.
Too bad we can't select our family as we can our friends. Although, there is no rule that says you must love your family members. Love who you love, like who you like.
Good luck. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Adult only Receiption Horror
