I am the Bride To Be. My fiance and I are getting married in Ixtapa Mexico. Knowing that this was an expense for everyone, we picked up 2 of the 3 hotel nights for all of our guests. We have also opted to not have a bridal party to save everyone money on attire, shoes, etc.
I have been deeply disturbed by my friends and their actions when it comes to my wedding. I'm not sure if I am being overly sensitive or if I have a different point of view bc I am an event planner? Here are my questions:
My 8 close girlfriends (those that would have been in my bridal party if we would have chosen to have one and I was in all of their weddings) hosted a bridal shower for me. They had it at one of their homes. Instead of getting me any shower gifts they gave me a group card and a spa massage gift certificate (for Mexico) that was approx. $130 in value. This massage is going to take place after the "bachelorette brunch" they are hosting. I figured this would have been my bachelorette gift. The 8 girls went into this, spending less than $20 each. Am I being too sensitive to have expected individual cards or at least something that was $5 off my registry? I feel like this was unacceptable as a shower gift, especially considering what I did for their weddings. I have always gone over and beyond for all of my GF's weddings. Its really not about the gifts, more the effort. Also, the brunch they are hosting, they asked my families (as well as my fiance's and my other guests to pay them for it).
It doesn't sound as if this was a shower. It was just the nine of you and there was the one gift. So, it seems like just a gathering or bridal tea. The one gift seems fine in this case.
There is no such thing as a bachelorette gift. The bachelorette gift is that the bride is treated to the gathering. Everyone covers her costs.
What they did seems fine with me. They probably couldn't have hosted a shower for you anyway. Only those invited to the wedding may be invited. And, it shouldn't involve all who were invited. That would appear as if you were fishing for two wedding gifts from everyone.
Pre-wedding parties are all optional so whatever they decided to host should be considered generous. We certainly shouldn't do things for others based on our future expectations to "get back". Being that this is a destination wedding, even though you have been generous enough to foot the bill for some of the accommodations, there is still airfare and meals and other expenses your guests wouldn't incur with a local wedding.
Please try to see the glass half full since these ladies showed their care for you by planning 2 pre-wedding events. We have many who come to these boards wishing they had a friend to help them celebrate. I hope you can look past this and enjoy the beautiful wedding you've planned. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Bridal Lunch/Bridal Shower etiquette
