I am the MOH for my sister-in-law's wedding. Here is the dilema:
I have been married to her brother for a number of years. During that time, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law have gotten to know my own mother and sister. They see each other during the year at the birthday parties for my kids, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law exchange x-mas presents with my mother etc. We all live in the same city. You get the idea.
My mother-in-law is hosting the bridal shower at her home at her insistance. I am looking after the decorating, invites, games, etc.
When I got the list of names of women to invite, my mother and sister were not invited. I fully expected they would be. When I reviewed the list of names, they have invited other women that they don't even see once a year! I am rather hurt by this exclusion. Not to mention that I know my mom and sister will be slightly offended. If I was hosting the shower, I know that I would have a say and would invite them. But seeing as my mother-in-law is having it at her place, I don't know what to do?
Also, my husband is really ticked that my mom and sister weren't invited. Any comment?
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Apr 7, 2004, 11:13 PM
Post #2 of 5
(4016 views)
Re: [weddingbellhel] Bridal Shower guest list dilema
[In reply to]
Are your Mom and Sister being invited to the wedding? If you know they are then you could politely suggest that your mother and sister must have been overlooked for an invitation to the bridal shower. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Apr 7, 2004, 11:20 PM)
weddingbellhel
Apr 8, 2004, 7:59 AM
Post #3 of 5
(4012 views)
Re: [weddingbellhel] Bridal Shower guest list dilema
[In reply to]
Dear TWQadmin:
Thanks for your response. I have no idea if they are invited to the wedding...but this situation leads me to think they are probably not...
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Apr 8, 2004, 8:20 AM
Post #4 of 5
(4009 views)
Re: [weddingbellhel] Bridal Shower guest list dilema
[In reply to]
Try sitting down with your MIL at a time when there is no one else around and things are calm. Speak frankly to her about your feelings. Rather than being angry tell her that you feel hurt that they weren't invited and tell her why. Maybe it WAS an oversight. If not, then at least you will tell her how you feel. If your husband is willing maybe he could approach your mom...in a non-threatening way. Have him report back to his mom (on the QT) that you are hurt and he is confused as to why these women were left out. It may be taken better coming from her son. Let us know how it all unfolds... Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Apr 8, 2004, 9:49 AM
Post #5 of 5
(4007 views)
Re: [weddingbellhel] Bridal Shower guest list dilema
[In reply to]
Dear MOH,
Great advice and I completely agree that you should be open with your feelings. And, here is something to think about.
Actually, the family of the bride is not suppose to give the bride, or be involved (officially) in giving the bride a shower. Hosting a shower for a family member is perceived as begging for gifts. However, because you are the MOH and quite often there is more than one bridal shower, you may host one of your own. Just try to avoid inviting the same people to the shower you are hosting.
Bridal Shower guest list dilema
