I have obviously never been married before and I hadn't anticipated how much everyone would be contributing toward the wedding! My mom is paying for most of the reception, the cake, the favors... My maid of honour has offered to buy the flowers and is paying for the wedding shower... I just feel badly since I feel like we should be paying more. I feel like we're putting everyone out. We are getting married and having a wedding so that we can celebrate with everyone, not take their money!
I was thinking that maybe paying for their hotel rooms the night of the wedding would be a nice gesture, but my mother said I shouldn't. Any suggestions or words of wisdom?
Thanks in advance!
Bride to be
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Post #2 of 5
(2006 views)
Re: Bride is feeling guilty - who pays for what?
[In reply to]
Your attitude is certainly a breath of fresh air. But, if these people have offered to help out then there is no need to feel guilty. As long as you're not asking or insisting that your family pays just thank them. Remember that parents are no longer obligated to pay for their children's weddings.
But, note that it is expected that you would provide lodging for your bridal party if they must stay at a hotel. So, this would be your responsibility anyway.
I think just showing your undying gratitude and appreciation for your friends and family is enough. Of course, sending a thank you note and maybe a small gift would be appropriate. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #3 of 5
(2001 views)
Re: Bride is feeling guilty - who pays for what?
[In reply to]
I couldn't agree more. And, you could ask your MOH to only host a small group and to stipulate that the shower is gift-less on the invitations. That might ease your guilt feelings as well. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
karen24h
Post #4 of 5
(1981 views)
Re: Bride is feeling guilty - who pays for what?
[In reply to]
In Reply To
I couldn't agree more. And, you could ask your MOH to only host a small group and to stipulate that the shower is gift-less on the invitations. That might ease your guilt feelings as well.
I suggested making the shower gift-less and my mom and mom-in-law-to-be said that people WANT to give gifts at a shower and may be disappointed if I request it to be giftless! I thought that making it a gift-less affair would be in good taste, and it's nice to see that two etiquette gurus agree! When Nate and I decided to get married and were talking about the wedding, we just wanted something simple and fun, and it's become a giant! I'm not disappointed in any way at all, I just don't want them to think I expected it.
And I will be sure to put my foot down with regards to the hotel rooms then! Maybe I'll just book them and pay for them and tell them afterward
I thank both of you for all of your help and I look forward to learning more on your site!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #5 of 5
(1954 views)
Re: Bride is feeling guilty - who pays for what?
[In reply to]
Thank you for being an absolutely wonderful and gracious role model! Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Bride is feeling guilty - who pays for what?
