Changing guest list after sending 'save the dates'
Any advice would be appreciated... My future mother-in-law convinced us to invite 45 of her friends to our wedding. She discussed with us multiple times how much it would mean to her, it was so sad without them, she'd be more than happy to pay for them, etc. (Our guest list was 80 before her friends). We finally took her up on it under the condition that she pay for all the additional guests, as we could not afford to do so. Save the dates went out last month, and she now feels she is entitled to plan the wedding and shower. We explained to her this will not stand, and she replied by saying she will no longer pay for her friends if she is not allowed certain key decisions to be hers. We really don't even feel comfortable taking her money at this point, anyway, but will not throw ourselves into debt entertaining people we don't even know or let her ruin our wedding, either. Would it be better to send a letter of apology to these people who received save the dates saying that our plans have changed, or just not send them an invite? We truly do not have what would amount to an extra $6000 to have them come. Thanks so much.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 12, 2007, 2:17 PM
Post #2 of 2
(557 views)
Re: [Blue792] Changing guest list after sending 'save the dates'
[In reply to]
Dear Blue,
Well, she shouldn't be planning your wedding even if she paid the entire amount. And, mothers do not host or plan the shower. That is a major no-no. So, it may be best for her son to ask her to read about wedding etiquette or to visit us. In fact, he should be speaking directly to her. It is easier to set limits on how she may interfere in your relationship now rather than later.
To dis-invite her guests would be extremely rude. If you were to change your plans, it seems that you could do this though. Sometimes when we postpone a wedding or change a date, we are forced to cut our guest list. This could be your most polite way to cut your list.
Changing guest list after sending 'save the dates'
