I am the groom's mother. My husband and I are paying for the rehearsal dinner. The bride - and her mother - is cheerfully lining up people for the rehearsal dinner. Neither one was asked to do so. She expects the flower girl (age 7) and ring bearer (age 8) to attend, along with the flower girl's two siblings (both younger). I am uncomfortable with this for a couple of reasons:
1. By the time we get to the restaurant, it will be well past the dinner time of the children, who will be upset and disruptive because of it.
2. The facility where the rehearsal dinner is to be held is expensive, and I am not happy about shucking out that much per plate for young children.
The bride and MOB are dear people, but a bit overbearing. The bride is very close to the flower girl, who is her niece. Am I being too crabby here? Should I just allow the kids to be invited or should I somehow say, 'no'? If so - how?
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jan 16, 2007, 9:08 AM
Post #2 of 5
(588 views)
Re: [AdamsMom] Children at rehearsal dinner
[In reply to]
Typically, the host gets to set the guest list. However, it is expected that all members of the bridal party, (their spouses, and parents of any children involved) are to be invited. So, the children really should be invited. Hopefully, these parents will figure out that the timing doesn't work for them or, at least, parent them during the dinner.
To keep the peace, speak to your son and let him know that only those actually involved in the rehearsal will be invited. He can convey the message to his bride and her mom. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 16, 2007, 10:44 AM
Post #3 of 5
(585 views)
Re: [AdamsMom] Children at rehearsal dinner
[In reply to]
I couldn't agree more on all points. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
AdamsMom
Jan 16, 2007, 11:49 AM
Post #4 of 5
(577 views)
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Children at rehearsal dinner
[In reply to]
Okay - that speaks to the children who are actually participating in the wedding (ring bearer and flower girl). What about their little siblings? While I understand that their parents should be invited, I am unclear about any little siblings being invited to a rehearsal dinner.
What are your thoughts?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 16, 2007, 12:40 PM
Post #5 of 5
(571 views)
Re: [AdamsMom] Children at rehearsal dinner
[In reply to]
I agree that your son may be a good resource here. It may be best to speak to him.
Siblings don't need to be included. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Children at rehearsal dinner
